Waiting for the Other Bipolar Shoe to Drop
Published: Wed, 07/21/10
Hi ,
How are you doing today?
I hope you're having a good day.
I was at one of the bipolar support groups
that I attend the other night.
And I was talking to this woman whose
husband has bipolar disorder.
I asked her how he was doing.
And she said, "Great."
But she didn't say it very enthusiastically
at all.
So I asked her how come she wasn't
very excited about that.
And she said, 'I'm just waiting for the
other shoe to drop."
I asked her what she meant...
And she said, "Any time he does great
for awhile, it seems like the next bipolar
episode is right around the corner, so it's
like I'm just waiting for the next shoe to
drop. Like I know it's coming any time
now."
She was telling me how uncomfortable
a position that places her into, how she
can never relax when her husband is
doing "great" - she never feels like she
can enjoy his times of stability, because
she's afraid of an oncoming episode.
I told her that's no way to live - that
they should be able to enjoy his periods
of normalcy and stability much more.
She said she would love to, except that
she just can't get the thought out of her
mind that he's bound to have that next
episode any time now.
In my courses/systems, I talk about how
if your loved one is doing what they need
to do to manage their bipolar disorder,
they will go longer and longer between
bipolar episodes.
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So it's up to you, as their supporter,
whether you feel and think and act
like this woman from the support group
and wait around for the next bipolar shoe
to drop...
Or whether you enjoy your loved one's
periods of normalcy, understanding that,
if they are managing their disorder the
right way, they will have more and more
of them.
Bipolar episodes are hard enough to go
through, you know that.
And there is a period of time after each of
them that you don't trust your loved one,
because you are afraid they will "slip" into
bipolar behavior.
This is normal.
However, after awhile, you can begin to
trust them again.
After awhile of non-symptomatic behavior,
your loved one will be acting stable.
This is called a normal period.
And, like I said before, with proper
management of their bipolar disorder,
they (and you) will enjoy more and more
normal periods, longer periods without
bipolar episodes.
You don't have to sit around waiting
for the other shoe to drop.
You can enjoy these periods.
Do what you would enjoy doing.
Go places, do things, especially those
things you were putting off doing because
your loved one was episodic.
As long as your loved one stays on their
medication and adheres to their treatment
(goes to see their psychiatrist and therapist)
and takes care of themselves and their
bipolar, there is no reason you can't do
the things you want to do when and where
you want to do them.
If you cower or give in to fear, like this
woman from the support group, you are
letting the disorder manage you instead of
the other way around.
And that's not right.
You need to be the ones managing your
loved one's bipolar disorder.
And part of that management is controlling
the time between episodes.
The normal periods.
Like I said, be determined to enjoy them as
much as you can.
You shouldn't be spending those normal
periods just waiting around for the next
bipolar episode to hit.
What do you think?
How do you spend your loved one's normal
periods?
Do you just sit around waiting for the next
shoe to fall or do you enjoy those normal
periods?
What do you do?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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