Bipolar Supporter? Have You Ever Felt Like This?
Published: Tue, 08/17/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
Hope you are doing well.
One of my close friends isn't today.
I just talked to him, and he was mad.
He had tried all day to do nice things for
others.
First he made coffee for someone at work
who was complaining that there was no
coffee.
They then proceeded to complain that the
coffee was too weak.
He had spent days cooking for his sister,
who didn't even live with him.
He had done it out of the kindness of his
heart, and for no other reason.
But today he had to work instead of
cooking for her.
She didn't want to understand this.
Instead, she made his day even more
stressful by complaining very rudely to
him that he wasn't doing his job.
He copied some important documents
for a co-worker because they were too
busy to do it, and didn't even get a thanks.
He called me to say that he gave up.
He didn't want to help anyone anymore.
Everyone was too ungrateful.
Have you ever had one of those days?
Have you ever, say, helped your loved one
in so many ways that they don't even know
what all of them are - only to have them
ignore you or complain to you?
And goodness forbid you expect a thank-
you.
It can be very frustrating at times.
My friend wanted to believe in karma and
hope that it would come back to them.
Well, maybe it would.
But I'm not sure that's the best thing to
hope for.
When it comes down to it, we love the
person; we just don't love their actions.
Instead of giving up on helping others, we
need to address the problem and try to find
a solution.
I'm not saying this will be easy; in fact,
it can be a little tricky.
But it will be worth it in the long run.
Start by using "I" statements.
Tell them that you feel unappreciated
and that you would be more comfortable
continuing to help them if they voiced
their thanks.
Note the word 'voiced.'
Don't imply that they are not thankful at
all; that might not be true and could offend
them.
Just state that you have not heard evidence
of it, and would appreciate it if you did
in the future.
Then remember: you are the supporter for
a reason.
They are dealing with some problems that
make it so they don't always think clearly.
Even people who don't have bipolar
disorder have their days when they don't
want to bother to be grateful.
It must be that much harder for someone
who is constantly distracted by their
struggle with mood swings.
Try to remember that you can be the
better person.
You can continue to help them, no matter
how they act.
At some point they will realize that you've
helped them this whole time when you
didn't have to.
At some point they will say thank-you in
a way that you will recognize.
Until then, don't give up on the ones you
love.
Try to remember you love them for a
reason.
Deep breath.
Chin up.
Set your mind to have a good day.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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