Fair or Not Fair With Bipolar Disorder
Published: Tue, 10/05/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well.
Remember when you were little
and you would say that something
wasn't fair?
Sometimes your parents would even
say that life wasn't always fair, wouldn't
they?
But usually they would try to explain
things for you, or try to work out a
reasonable solution to your problem
to make things fair.
The problem is with bipolar disorder
that, being a supporter, you might
sometimes feel that things aren't
fair to you, either.
You might sometimes think that, no matter
how hard you try, you're still coming out
on the short end of things, which isn't
fair to you.
You might think you're the best supporter
in the world, yet your loved one still
does things that don't seem right to you,
and you can't figure out why!
Unfortunately, that's just part of their
having bipolar disorder.
In my main course and resource below,
I talk about how there are some things
that your loved one will do in an episode
that seem strange to you, but they are just
part of the disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But you're right -
These are things that just aren't
fair to you.
These are reasons for you to scream
"Life just isn't fair!"
In this case, it isn't.
But you still have to face it if you're
going to stay with your loved one who
has bipolar disorder.
It is true that they will sometimes do
things that you don't understand, like fight
with you for seemingly no reason at all.
They will do other things that won't seem
fair, too.
They can sometimes get so angry that they
will rage, or in a manic episode, they can
lie to you, among other things.
That is also part of their disorder.
They're not doing this on purpose, or
because they just one day decided to hurt
you.
It stems from their bipolar disorder.
And you're right -
This isn't fair to you, either.
Even if you try to defend yourself, what
are you defending yourself against?
These things they're raging against, are they
even real?
No!
You're defending yourself against
untruths, or lies.
So it doesn't matter how vehemently you
defend yourself, it isn't going to get you
anywhere.
You just have to wait out the storm, so to
speak.
Fair or not, it is going to happen.
Why?
Because, unfortunately, your loved one
has bipolar disorder.
And it is part of their disorder.
You can do something about it, however.
At some point, when they are not raging
at you, and they are calm and collected,
sit them down and tell them how you feel.
Tell them in a way that is non-threatening
to them, however.
Don't blame them, or they will get defensive
and you will end up in a fight, which is
what you do not want.
Just say something like, "When you rage at me,
I don't understand, and I feel hurt."
Then you have stated your feelings in direct
relation to something they have done, and
they need to take responsibility at that
point.
At least they should.
If they don't, try to tell them in a different
way.
I know that it may not seem fair that
you have to be the one doing all the
effort at communicating, but it's just
the way it is when you are the supporter
to a loved one who has bipolar disorder.
Hopefully, by communicating in this
way, your loved one will take
responsibility for their actions and
change their ways and not hurt you
any more.
If worse comes to worse, and you cannot
talk to your loved one, at least find
someone else who you can talk
to about your feelings, or write them
in a diary or journal so you don't stuff
them and have them build up inside
you.
Things may not always be fair when you're
involved with someone who has bipolar
disorder, but there are some things you can
do to make them more fair.
What are some things you have tried?
What has worked for you?
What would you tell someone else who
is struggling with this?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarsupporterblog/fair-or-not-fair-with-bipolar-disorder/comment-page-1/#comment-20425
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter
Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com