Bipolar Supporter: Is This You
Published: Sun, 11/21/10
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope you're having a good day.
I want to tell you about one of the supporters
in the support group I attend:
She was afraid she had "caught" her husband's
bipolar disorder because she had started feeling
depressed.
This really got her worried, which just made
her worse, to the point that she went to see a
therapist herself.
She thought she would receive a diagnosis of
bipolar disorder, or at least Major Depressive
Disorder...
But what she was told instead was that she was
suffering from what is called Situational
Depression.
This is when the situation you are in causes you
to become depressed.
If you get out of the situation, or adapt to the
situation (or change the situation so that you
can deal with it), you will no longer be depressed
over it.
That's why it's called Situational Depression,
because unlike bipolar disorder, it is not a
chemical disorder in the brain - there is no
physical cause for it.
So after the therapist explained that you can't
catch bipolar disorder like you catch the common
cold and explained more about Situational
Depression, this woman understood more about
what she was going through.
It helped to explain why she was feeling the
way she was.
But it didn't help her figure out how she was
going to be able to stop being depressed.
She had to do that on her own.
First, she had to figure out exactly what was
causing her depression.
It was too easy to say everything (even though
that was the way she felt at first).
She felt like if her husband just didn't have
bipolar disorder, then she wouldn't be depressed.
But that wasn't realistic.
He had bipolar disorder, and she had to learn to
cope and deal with it in order to stop being so
depressed.
Then she started thinking about when her depression
started, since he had bipolar disorder for awhile, and
she hadn't been depressed the whole time.
She figured out that her own depression had started
at her husband's last episode.
He had gotten very depressed and retreated to his
bed, sleeping all the time, and stayed there for a
month.
Even though she knew it was the bipolar episode,
and not her husband, she still felt rejected.
This can be a normal feeling, like the other negative
feelings I talk about in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
In thinking back on that period of time,
she realized that was what started her depression,
that feeling of being rejected by her husband.
Eventually he came out of the episode, but
he still remained quiet, and didn't talk to her
much about anything.
He never seemed to share his thoughts and
feelings with her.
It appeared that their communications had
simply broken down.
So she realized that if she wanted to get out of
her situational depression, she needed to take
steps to restore their communication.
One day, when her husband was in a pretty
good mood, she sat him down and shared her
thoughts and feelings with him.
She was sure to tell him how much she loved
him and how much she missed the way they
used to be.
In return, he started sharing his thoughts and
feelings with her, and the session was quite
enlightening for both of them.
It brought them closer together.
After this, and many other close talks, her
depression started to lift, since her situation
had changed.
Her husband began talking to her more, as he
had learned that he could trust her with his
thoughts and feelings since she had been so
understanding that first time.
This story is not an uncommon one. It is easy
for communication to break down in a relationship
where one of the people has bipolar disorder.
When they suffer from bipolar depression, they
tend to close into themselves, even cutting their
supporter off completely.
It is also not unusual for the supporter to fall into
their own depression.
Have you ever felt depressed?
What happened?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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