Bipolar: After Thanksgiving
Published: Tue, 11/30/10
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope you're doing fine.
You know, many people are grateful
around Thanksgiving.
In fact, many people go around the table
at Thanksgiving dinner telling what they
are thankful for.
One person might be thankful for their
friends and family.
One person might be thankful for their
health.
One person might be thankful that they're
getting good grades in school.
One person might be grateful that their
car is running good this year.
One person might be thankful for a happy
marriage.
One person might be thankful that they
have a roof over their heads.
And on and on...
While someone with bipolar disorder might
simply be thankful that they're stable at the
time.
In my courses/systems below, I talk about
being grateful for stability:
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Especially when stability does not come
easily.
Some people really have to work at it to become
stable with their bipolar disorder.
And some supporters have to work really hard at
being good supporters.
For some it's easy, but for others it's harder.
Especially when the person who is so thankful at
Thanksgiving stops being so thankful after the
holiday is over...
And goes back to being their old self.
And not their good self, either!
You may have really enjoyed your loved one's
"holiday self," being on their best behavior...
Being nice to you and everyone else...
No starting any fights...
No bipolar behavior...
No mood swings...
No depression...
No isolation...
No idleness...
Or any of the other bipolar behaviors
that they sometimes exhibit.
What a wonderful break at Thanksgiving!
But what a letdown after Thanksgiving when
they start up all that behavior all over again.
Like a balloon that gets a hole popped into it.
And all that air comes rushing out.
That's like your loved one, who has been trying
to be so good through the Thanksgiving holiday,
but now the stress all comes rushing out and they
start all their bipolar behavior again.
And who gets the brunt of it?
You do.
You are their supporter, and the person closest
to them.
So you get the worst of it.
Most of their worst behavior is directed toward you.
Then the stress falls on you.
First of all, you're disappointed, because they were
acting so good for the holiday...
... and now this.
Then the stress descends on you.
You're walking around on eggshells again...
Trying not to do or say anything wrong to set off
your loved one and their bipolar behavior and
rages.
But you're trying to deal with your own feelings
at the same time.
And right now, those feelings are pretty negative
ones.
You probably resent your loved one for this
change in them.
You might even be angry at them for how they're
treating you.
You could even feel that your situation is hopeless
or that your loved one is hopeless, that they'll never
change.
You probably feel disappointed that things aren't
staying as good as they were at Thanksgiving.
You might even feel betrayed by your loved one,
feeling as if they have let you down.
You might be depressed now, feeling sad that your
loved one is acting like their old negative self, acting
out on old behaviors.
But it is normal to feel these feelings.
Many supporters feel these types of feelings after
the Thanksgiving holiday when things go back to
"normal."
What are your thoughts?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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