Bipolar Disorder: What Would You Say?
Published: Sun, 10/31/10
Hi ,
How are you feeling today?
I hope you're feeling fine.
I got an email this week that I want
to share with you, to get your opinion
as well:
"Dave-
My girlfriend has bipolar disorder. At
least I think she does. She hasn't gotten
formally diagnosed, but she seems to be
showing all the signs, at least from all the
research I've done on it. She goes into
these mood swings all the time, I mean, I
never know what kind of mood she'll be in
when I come to see her, and even if she
starts off in one mood, she could change in
like an instant, you know? And I never know
what causes it, just all of a sudden she's mad
at me, and I don't know what I've done! And
she can never tell me, either. And just as
quickly, she's over it, too. Then she's the
"good girlfriend" that I know and love. It's
driving me crazy! I can't keep up with her.
I've read a lot about bipolar disorder, and it
sure sounds like she has it. One minute she's
up, and the next minute she's down, and when
she gets down, she gets really down, and
nothing I can say will help to cheer her up.
I know, because I've tried. I tell her that she's
beautiful (she is, to me), and talented (she's a
great teacher), and fun to be around (when
she's not depressed), and that I love her
(which just makes her cry when she's
depressed). It just seems like everything I
say to her when she's depressed makes her
cry - I don't know what to do then. But she
eventually comes out of it and gets back to
normal, not through anything I do or say.
It's really confusing for me. I mean, I was
thinking of asking her to marry me, but with
these mood swings, well, to be honest with
you, I don't think I could take them on a
full time basis. What do you think I should
do?
--Marty"
-----------------------------------------------------
Well, first of all, I'm not surprised by anything
that Marty wrote.
He said that even though his girlfriend has not
been formally introduced, that he thinks she
has bipolar disorder, and from what he says,
it sure seems like she could have it, with her
mood swings.
However, I am not a psychiatrist, therapist,
counselor, or any other health or mental health
specialist, so I can't diagnose anyone, especially
not based on an email - I can only make an
educated guess and advice her to seek professional
help based on her symptoms, and her symptoms
point to the possibility of bipolar disorder.
As for Marty actually marrying her, that has
to be a personal decision, I can't advise on that
either.
Maybe you would have better advice for him on
that?
What would you say to him, coming from a
supporter's point of view?
Because I would just say that it's too early for
any kind of serious decision like that, since if
she does have bipolar disorder, she can seek
professional help, and she can get better, and
he won't have to deal with her mood swings
if she gets better.
There is a good prognosis for people with
bipolar disorder who seek professional help
early - there is no cure, no magic pill, but
there is treatment, in the way of medication
and therapy, that can help her to manage her
symptoms (the mood swings) and to attain
bipolar stability in the long term.
At that point, when she has achieved stability,
certainly the possibility of marriage could be
approached.
Many people with bipolar disorder have gone
on to live perfectly normal, productive, happy
lives with treatment and good management of
their bipolar disorder.
They take medication on a daily basis and go
to see their psychiatrist, doctor, and therapist
on a regular basis.
They also do other things to take care of
themselves -
Things such as good sleep habits (8-9
hours of uninterrupted sleep each night),
healthy diet, and exercise.
They are also productive individuals - whether
they can work a full time job outside the home
or not, they at least keep a part time job or a
volunteer position, or have hobbies that keep
them busy so they are not idle, realizing that
idleness can lead to depression, and depression
to a bipolar depressive episode.
These people, by making some lifestyle
changes, have learned to manage their
bipolar disorder, and this man's girlfriend
can do the same thing, thus becoming more
stable with her mood swings.
But first she must see a professional and get
diagnosed so she can be put on the right
medication and a treatment plan.
Can you relate to Marty's email?
What would you say to him?
Any advice that you could give to him?
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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