Bipolar Disorder – To Tell or Not to Tell
Published: Wed, 12/22/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope things are going well
for you.
Just by the very nature of the work
that I do, working with people who
have bipolar disorder and their
supporters, people talk to me about
all kinds of things related to bipolar
disorder.
Like how to get their loved ones to
take their medications, or how to get
their loved ones to seek treatment,
and that kind of thing.
But one thing they ask me about as
well is whether they should tell
people that their loved one has
bipolar disorder or not.
In my courses/systems, I tell people
that it is a personal decision whether
to tell people or not, as there are
advantages and disadvantages to
telling or not telling:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.survivebipolar.net
I recently read a book by Hilary Smith
called "Welcome to the Jungle: Everything
You Ever Wanted to Know About Bipolar
But Were Too Freaked Out to Ask."
It was a really good book written by a
young author with bipolar disorder.
In the book, she discusses whether or
not you should tell people you have
bipolar disorder.
I like the way she puts it.
She says:
"Being open and well-informed about bipolar
yourself will make it much easier for your
friends and family to be open and well-informed
too. If they have pre-conceptions of or biases
against mental illness, talking about it will
help them realize where and how they're wrong."
That's one thing we agree upon -
being well-informed yourself. That's
one thing I'm always telling people,
and why I've written so many courses
teaching people all about bipolar
disorder.
I think it's important to have the right
information and to be well-informed.
That way you know how to inform
other people, should you decide to
tell them.
You will have the right answers to
whatever they might ask you.
Hilary goes on to say:
"You can't force people to understand,
but you can leave the door open."
I really like that line, because it
addresses the stigma that still
comes against bipolar disorder.
We can't help that some people,
usually uninformed people, still
hold a stigma against people with
a mental illness in general, and
bipolar disorder specifically.
Unfortunately, it's up to us to
educate them (should you decide
to).
You can't make them understand,
like Hilary says, but you can arm
them with the facts and let them
draw their own conclusions.
Here's what Hilary says about
telling the people you care most
about:
"Getting diagnosed with bipolar is
a great opportunity to become a more
open person, a more honest person, a
more caring person. Having all these
people care about you makes you realize
how much you value them - and how
much you can return their love. If you
can be open about bipolar, you can be
open about other touchy things."
She talks about telling them about
having bipolar as a sign of your love
for them.
Undoubtedly, they already know that
something is wrong anyway.
They've probably already noticed
different behavior in you or your
loved one.
Perhaps even commented on the
mood swings.
Of course, it is still your decision
whether you tell them about having
bipolar disorder, but honesty is
usually the best policy, and you
don't have to worry about hiding
things any more.
Agree or disagree?
How have you handled this?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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