Bipolar? Know Anyone Like This?
Published: Sat, 01/22/11
Hi ,
How's it going?
Hope you are doing well.
Have you ever heard much about anger
management classes?
Maybe you've been to one yourself, or
maybe you know someone who's been in
them.
Obviously, anger management classes
aim to work on a person's anger issues
and get them to the point where they can
express their anger appropriately (instead
of just "blowing up.")
But if you've never been in this type of
group, you might not realize just how
often anger is expressed inside the group.
Conflicts tend to arise in a group where
everyone has anger management issues.
I guess that makes sense.
But it makes it both harder and easier at
the same time to teach how to handle
anger appropriately.
It makes it harder because tempers have
risen and people are less willing to listen
in those moments that they are angry.
It makes it easier because it gives the
facilitator a real-life example to use
right then and there to show them how
to manage their anger.
It also helps the clients to practice their
new anger management skills.
The teacher might even have them
replay the conversation with the intent
that they will do better the second (or
third) time around.
One of the things they teach in anger
management classes is that your emotions,
and what you choose to do with them,
are your choice.
No one can make you outburst in anger.
They might provoke you, and they can
certainly do bad things.
But they cannot control your actions.
Only you can do that.
And you can help guide a situation to go
the way you want it based off your actions.
If you act in a negative way, then the
situation is more likely to become
negative very quickly.
If you act in a positive, constructive
manner, then the situation is more likely
to turn in your favor.
Now, this isn't a guarantee, for one simple
reason:
You cannot control other people's actions.
Realizing this is a major part of anger
management.
When you get to the point that you realize
that all you can control is you, you will
learn how to manage your anger, and even
some of your stress levels.
People with bipolar disorder often have
anger management issues, especially when
they are manic.
They are as likely as not to escalate a
situation until it reaches a boiling point,
so to speak.
But there are things that both they and
their supporters can do to minimize the
situation and to build a constructive
atmosphere.
For a person who has bipolar disorder
and also has a history of poor anger
management, I would strongly recommend
taking anger management classes.
You can decide with your treatment team
whether a regular anger management class
is more appropriate, or whether you need
a one-on-one counseling session with a
therapist who knows something about
bipolar disorder.
For the supporters, there are some things
you can do as well to help the situation
along, without hurting your loved one's
feelings.
Make sure to validate their feelings, even
if you don't agree with how they acted
on those feelings.
That by itself will often bring their
level of aggression down.
Use "I" statements; never accuse, even if
you know you are right.
Remember that all you can control is your
own actions.
If the situation gets out of hand, especially
if it gets violent, call for outside help.
It may be a sign that your loved one needs
more help than normal to stabilize
themselves and to control themselves.
Take a break from the situation as needed.
You'd be amazed what a break and a
clear head can do for you.
There are other tactics you can use, as well.
The most important being respect:
Respect yourself, respect them, and when
you can, ask them to respect you as well.
And then remember that, while it is
perfectly okay to ask this, you still cannot
make them do it.
What do you think about this?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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