Bipolar: Better Not Do This
Published: Tue, 05/03/11
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well.
Whether you are the supporter or the
loved one,
YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS:
Never wish you were somewhere else.
Haven't you ever heard that old saying,
"Wherever you go, there you are?"
In other words, it doesn't help to try to run
from your problems, whether literally or just
in your head.
You can't wish your problems away. You have
to deal with them.
I know it's hard. I have to do it too.
(Try being me for a day! LOL)
But NEVER wish you were somewhere else.
"Somewhere else" has its problems there, too.
Because, "Wherever you go, there you are."
And so are your problems. They're still in your
head.
A supporter doesn't stop being a supporter just
because they're not home with their loved one.
Running away doesn't help.
And neither does wishing you were somewhere
else.
In my courses/systems below, I teach how you
have to face what's in front of you - how you have
to develop systems to help you deal with those
things.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I know it's hard dealing with a loved one with
bipolar disorder.
And sometimes you'd rather be somewhere else
doing something else (anything else).
But it doesn't help to think that way.
In fact, you better NOT think that way, because it
will only get you into trouble.
You have to face reality. You have to deal with
what's in front of you, good AND bad.
And there are ways to do that:
1. Remain positive
2. Be proactive
3. Maintain contact with friends
4. Maintain contact with family
5. Take care of yourself
6. Journal your thoughts and feelings
7. Exercise (it gets out your frustration)
8. See your own therapist
9. Take up a hobby
10. Go places without your loved one
These are just some suggestions. I'm sure you
can think of some of your own if you try.
Another thing is that you have to separate yourself
from your loved one.
You have your own identity outside your loved one
and outside their disorder.
Make sure you remember that!
Also, try to separate your loved one from their
disorder.
I know that's hard sometimes, especially because
you have to live with them every day, but you have
to try to do it anyway.
Some people do this by looking through old photo
albums or scrapbooks and remembering what their
loved one was like before the disorder.
Other people keep in mind what their loved one is
like when they're not in an episode (and they're
grateful for that!).
But whatever, always keep in mind NOT to think
about being somewhere else - it will ruin your trying
to stay "in the moment."
You may not be in the best "moment" of your life
at the moment, but at least you'll be dealing with
reality.
And that's the important thing.
When people who are supporting a loved one with
bipolar disorder get off too much into the "I wish"
type of thinking, they begin to resent their reality,
and what they're having to truly deal with.
Then they begin to have other problems with
their loved one and their relationship, besides
the bipolar disorder.
It's hard enough dealing with things as they are.
It's even harder to try to deal with things with the
interfering thoughts of how you would like them
to be.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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