Bipolar: What is Normal Now?
Published: Tue, 08/09/11
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
I heard this thing that Norma Bombeck,
the famous author, once said, that normal
is just a setting on your dryer.
And I thought that was funny.
Because a lot of people write to me
or talk to me about how they don't
feel normal or think they are normal
anymore just because they've got
bipolar disorder now.
Or their supporters write to me or talk
to me and say that their lives aren't
normal anymore because their loved
one has bipolar disorder now.
And I thought about what Norma
Bombeck said.
What is normal, anyway?
I think it's whatever is normal
for you.
Or maybe you had a "normal" before,
but now you just have a different
"normal."
Does that make sense?
I have a friend who goes to Alcoholics
Anonymous, and she says they have a
saying that talks about "living life on
life's terms."
And that helps define normal for them.
I have another friend who says "you have
to play the hand that you're dealt."
I think what they mean is that no, you
didn't ask to have bipolar disorder, or to
have a loved one with the disorder -
and yes, your lives have certainly changed
because of it...
But that doesn't mean your lives have to
be worse because of it, either.
Your life is whatever you make it - whatever
"normal" is for you.
In my courses/systems, I don't talk in terms
of normal or abnormal. I talk in terms of
stability.
And I think that's what you should
be concentrating on more.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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And I don't think you should be comparing
yourself to other people, either.
I've seen that happen at some of the support
groups I volunteer at, and it's pretty sad,
because it makes some people feel better
while making other people feel worse.
I'm sorry if that sounds mean, but I've seen
it happen too many times.
The ones who are doing really well kind of
look down on the ones who aren't, the ones
who are still struggling.
And the ones who are still struggling compare
themselves to the ones who are doing really
well and wonder if there's something wrong
with them, because they aren't doing as good.
That's what I mean by what is normal,
anyway.
Are you NOT normal if you're not doing as
good as someone else with their bipolar
disorder?
And if you're a supporter, are you not normal
if you're not handling your loved one's bipolar
disorder as good as the next supporter of a loved
one with bipolar disorder?
NO!
You're doing the best you can for YOU!
And THAT is NORMAL for YOU!
Every person has their own normal.
Please don't compare yourself to anyone else.
The only people you should be concerned
about are yourselves.
If you are doing the best you can, then that's
the best you can hope to do for you.
No one can except any more from you.
I'm sure that's all your loved one expects
from you, anymore.
And all you should expect from yourself.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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