Bipolar Tough Questions
Published: Sat, 08/13/11
Hi ,
How's it going today?
I hope it's a good day.
I'm going to ask you a question. A hard
question, but one you need to ask
yourself.
What about you?
Have you ever asked yourself that?
"What about ME?"
Sometimes bipolar disorder can take over
your lives to such a degree that you really
can get to the point that you ask yourself
that question. If you have, you need to know
that it is NORMAL! You're not alone - many
supporters ask themselves that question.
Do you sometimes feel as if you have a
child instead of a partner? That's a normal
feeling, too. You may sometimes wonder
why you are in the relationship at all if it
only means taking care of someone who is
ill more times than they are not. And this
may be harder on you than you thought it
would be.
Maybe the bipolar disorder cast you in a role
you have no desire to play, but you see no
way out because there is no one else to do
it if you don't.
Maybe you're just plain burnt out. That happens
sometimes. So what about you? If you don't
take care of yourself first, you won't be able to
take care of your loved one. Remember that.
You may be asking yourself, "What about me
and what I want from life?" Well, what about
you? What do you want and need?
If you and your loved one have taken my
courses, you should be learning well how to
manage the bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Now that you have the tools to manage the
disorder, it's time for you to become clear
about the role you want to play in your
relationship. You may feel that the bipolar
disorder has taken the choice away from
you. This, too, is a normal feeling.
When your loved one is in an episode, you
may feel that you HAVE to play the role of
the loving supporter. That you have to hold
things together. But you don't. Everything
you do is a choice.
Whether it's going to the hospital when your
loved one is in an episode, helping your loved
one take their medication, or putting up with
constant mood swings, there is a choice. It
may not be an easy choice, or you may feel
like you have no choice, but it is all a choice.
If you choose to stay in a relationship where
your loved one is often sick (in an episode),
it's important that you at least know who you
are and why you do what you do.
Many of the people who write to me who are
married to a loved one with bipolar disorder
say that if they knew ahead of time what they
would be getting into, they wouldn't have
married that person.
Is this you? Do you feel this way?
It's ok if you do, because others do, but not if
you let this feeling turn into a resentment
against your loved one, or you stuff it and it
bubbles up inside you and reflects how you
feel about your loved one. You need to deal
with it.
If it's your choice to stay with your loved one,
no matter what (and remember, you do have a
choice), then feeling like that is something that
you just have to get over, as it will get in the way
of being a good supporter.
I know, because I am a supporter myself, that
sometimes it's just not good enough to know that
you're not alone in your struggle against bipolar
disorder - that you're not the only one who feels
the way you do...
....that so much is expected of you, especially
when your loved one goes into an episode, because
even though you're the one who does all the work,
your loved one is probably the one who gets all
the attention.
"In sickness and in health" can be hard to take
when it seems sometimes that there just isn't any
"health"! Your role gets so complicated sometimes
that you wonder who you really are any more:
You often have to be a financial planner, a confidant,
a therapist, a nurse, a parent, a provider, a supporter,
and any number of roles that maybe you didn't sign
on for.
This is a lot to ask of you. And many times it is a
thankless job. And, again, if you don't take care of
yourself first, you may burn out from it.
Don't despair if it's wearing you out. It wears
everyone out.
Again, ask yourself the tough questions: What
about ME? Who am I? What do I want out of life?
Because you need to know the answers.
What do you think?
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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