Life is Not a Bipolar Emergency
Published: Sat, 08/27/11
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
Here is a simple truth for you:
LIFE IS NOT A EMERGENCY!
I've had hundreds of people who have
written or called me and they are so upset
and there is so much drama surrounding
them that you would think that to them,
life is an emergency!
But as they go on with their story, I
see/hear that it is only an emergency
to them.
These people come to me for advice, but
they are so upset and so caught up in their
stories and what is going on in their lives...
and their or their loved one's bipolar
disorder...
that they don't even let me get a word in
edgewise.
Now, I'm just a third party, so of course,
whatever they're telling me is not an
emergency for me.
But even though they wrote or called me
for advice, they can't get it, because they
won't even stop long enough to listen to
me!
These people remind me of the Type A
personalities we hear of in business who
work 80 hours a week, who are so driven,
who have such high expectations, that if
they don't meet that 80 hour work week,
that they have failed in some way.
They are always walking around like a
chicken with it's head cut off, afraid that
everything won't get done, because to
them, everything is an emergency!
I had a supporter who called me who was
like that.
She was so upset over her inability to be
perfect that her doctor had prescribed
her anti-anxiety medicine.
She was acting (and feeling) like there
was a gun pointed at her head and the
sniper was demanding that everything
she did as a supporter had to be perfect
- or else!
Again, the silent assumption was that,
this is an emergency!
The truth was, no one other than her had
created the pressure she was experiencing.
The truth is that:
LIFE IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!
In my courses/systems, I talk about and
teach ways to lower the stress in your
life, and that is a very important thing
to learn when you're dealing with
bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I'm not saying that some of us
have never done it, sometimes
we've jumped to conclusions
before getting all the facts, and
maybe overreacted, making an
emergency out of something that
wasn't, but not all the time!
Sometimes we take our own goals
so seriously that we forget to have
fun along the way, and we forget
to cut ourselves some slack. We
take simple things and turn them
into conditions for our own
happiness. Or, we beat ourselves
up if we can't meet our self-created
deadlines.
The first step in becoming a less
stressed person is to have the
humility to admit that, in most
cases, you're creating your own
emergencies. Life will usually
go on if things don't go according
to plan.
John Lennon said, "Life is what
happens when you're making other
plans." I'm sure he would have
agreed that life is NOT an emergency.
You need to cut yourself some
slack. Remember that your goal is
to stay relaxed, to not get too
worked up or concerned about how
you are doing. As long as you're
trying your best to be a good
supporter, then that's all that
matters. No one is a perfect
supporter all the time.
Practice what you've learned,
keep your strategies in mind,
and don't worry about being perfect.
There will be many times when you
lose it, when you revert to being
uptight, frustrated, stressed, and
reactive - get used to it.
When you do, it's ok. Life is a
process - just one thing after another.
When you lose it, just start again.
It doesn't mean that it has to be
an emergency, though!
You just don't have to make
little setbacks into large
emergencies - cut yourself
some slack. Look at your
mistakes as learning experiences,
not emergencies.
All that's important is that you do
your best and that you are moving
in the right direction. Keep your
perspective, be the best supporter
you can be, and eventually your
loved one will respond to your
support and will be able to mange
their bipolar disorder.
This way, you can learn to live
with your own imperfection,
give yourself a break, stop
trying to be perfect, and
remember that:
LIFE IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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