Dealing with Bipolar Frustration
Published: Tue, 11/22/11
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
When you're a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder,
there can be many feelings that you have to learn to cope
and deal with.
Along with positive feelings such as compassion and
understanding...
Unfortunately, there are also negative feelings with which you
also have to deal as well.
Some of these negative feelings can include:
- Resentment
- Fear
- Disillusionment
- Disappointment
- Despair
- Depression
- Loneliness
- Anger
- Helplessness
- Hopelessness
- Guilt
- Shame
...and frustration.
Frustration is one of the top negative feelings that
supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder express
to me.
I talk about some of the negative feelings that
supporters have to deal with in my courses/systems
below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Here's what some supporters have told me:
"I love my wife. But I hate her bipolar disorder. It makes
her do things she wouldn't normally do. And it makes me
do things I wouldn't normally do, too. I hate the way I
have to act just to try to control her. I hate the way I feel,
too. I really resent her when she gets depressed and won't
even get out of bed. I know it's just her bipolar acting up,
but sometimes I still feel like she could get out of bed if
she really wanted to, I can't help it, so I say stuff to her."
Another supporter says:
"My boyfriend just withdraws from me when he gets
depressed. He doesn't want to go anywhere. He won't
do anything. Nothing I do is right in his eyes. He says he
just wants to be left alone, but I don't believe him. He says
he doesn't want to talk about it, but I still try to get him to
talk anyway. Then I get mad at him when he won't open
up. It seems like I'm mad at him all the time these days."
Another supporter says:
"Bipolar disorder changed my daughter. She used to be real
outgoing. Cheerleader, head of her class, good student,
active in church, lots of friends, everything. Then she started
having all these mood swings. She even started drinking and
doing drugs. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know
what. Then she tried to kill herself. I hated that it took that
to really make me listen. Now I'm scared all the time - I
don't know what to do to help her."
Still another supporters says:
"My wife has so many mood swings, and I just don't know
what to do any more. I've tried to be a good supporter, I really
have. But it just seems like I can never do the right thing.
Everything I try just doesn't seem to work. I just can't keep
up with her. I am so frustrated!"
I've asked some supporters what they do to deal with
their frustration.
Here's what they said:
"I just take a time out. Really. I literally walk out the door
and go for a walk around the block."
"I go for a long drive. A real long drive. I don't go anywhere
specific, just drive aimlessly, as long as it's really long.
Anywhere just to get out of the house for awhile."
"I go talk to a friend. It's like literally crying on someone's
shoulder. Everyone needs a good cry now and then, right?
I find that after I cry it all out, I can go back home and
face another day of the neverending frustration."
"I yell into a pillow. Really. I put the pillow over my
head and scream as loud as I can. It really helps me."
"I take a shower and scream in the shower as loud as I
can. The noise of the shower helps to drown out my
screams. But I feel better afterwards."
"I write in my journal. I don't care about things like
spelling or grammar. It doesn't even matter what I
write - I just keep writing and writing until all the
frustration is out on the paper and I feel better. Then
I stop writing."
"I go to the park and watch the children play. It's to
remind me that even though there are bad things like
bipolar disorder in the world, there are still some good
things in the world, too."
The one main thing you need to know about dealing
with frustration is that you do need to deal with it.
If you just stuff your feelings, you can make yourself
sick physically, and then you won't be any good to
your loved one or yourself.
Maybe you can use one of these suggestions.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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