Bipolar Supporter – Do You Know How to Listen?
Published: Sat, 11/19/11
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're having a great
day.
Did you know that you spend
50% of your time listening?
You need to know how to
really listen to your loved one
with bipolar disorder in order
to be an effective supporter,
so I'm going to give you some
suggestions.
In my courses/systems below,
I talk about how important
communication is when you're
dealing with someone with
bipolar disorder, and listening
is an especially important part:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Following are some suggestions
to help you be a better listener:
1. Be ready to listen.
If your loved one comes to
you and they have something
on their mind, stop what you're
doing and be ready to listen.
2. Concentrate on what they
are saying.
Look at your loved one as they
talk to you, and try to avoid
distractions. Focus on them and
what they are saying.
3. Be an active listener
Insert comments like, "Uh huh,"
"Yeah," or "Go on," to show that
you are actively listening to your
loved one.
4. Ignore negative feelings
Your loved one may say something
that you may not approve of, or
which may hurt your feelings. Try
to keep your own negative feelings
out of the conversation, and simply
listen.
5. Say your loved one's name
Saying your loved one's name during
the conversation shows them that you
really are listening to them.
6. Listen without adding your own ideas
or giving advice.
Most of the time, your loved one just
needs you to listen - they are not
necessarily asking for advice or your
opinion about them and/or their problems.
7. Don't be judgmental
You may not agree with something your
loved one tells you, but keep your opinion
to yourself, or your loved one may sense
you being judgmental of them and/or their
comments and feelings and may stop talking
to you.
8. Keep your loved one's point of view
in mind
Remember that you're just listening and,
like the last point, not being judgmental.
Keeping your loved one's point of view
in mind at all times will help you to do
this.
9. Use non-verbal communication to
show understanding
Your loved one will be looking at you
while they are talking, so they will
notice your body language. Make sure
that you are fully facing them, watching
them, nodding your head, and not fidgeting.
10. Encourage your loved one to keep
talking
Sometimes the best way to do this is by
asking open-ended (not yes or no) questions.
Just be sure not to ask too many, as they
may feel as if you're "quizzing" them.
11. Listen to what they are NOT saying
Your loved one may say something but
actually mean something else. Try to
pick up on what they are NOT saying
as well as what they ARE saying.
12. Watch your loved one's body language
This can go along with the last point.
Your loved one may be speaking but
they won't look at you, or they are
distracted by things around them, or
other things which show that they may
be uncomfortable with what they are
saying. Just be understanding and
encouraging to get them to keep talking.
13. Don't give advice
As stated before, your loved one may
be talking to you just to have someone
to listen to them. They may not actually
want your advice or for you to "fix" their
problems. Just listen and don't give
advice unless they ask you to.
14. Let your loved one know that their
feelings are acceptable
Your loved one might be confused
about their feelings, or even feel as
if they are "stupid" or "wrong" for
having those feelings. Make sure
that you remain nonjudgmental and
encourage them that whatever they
are feeling, they have a right to feel
that way.
15. Understand that you won't always
know what to say to your loved one
You may not always know the right
thing to say to your loved one when
they talk to you, so understand that,
and accept it. Just remain an encouraging
listener.
Remember in general that your loved
one may only be looking for a listener,
not an advisor.
They don't necessarily want you to "fix"
them or their problems.
The better a listener you are, and by following
these suggestions, the more your loved
one will talk to you.
Do you have any other suggestions
or things that have worked for you?
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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