Bipolar Supporter – Do Anything You Want
Published: Sun, 03/25/12
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I hope you're doing well.
When you were young, did your parents tell you
that you could do anything you wanted to
(within limits)?
Oh, I don't mean things that would get you
in trouble or anything...
I'm talking about things like that if you wanted to,
that you could become a doctor... or a lawyer...
or even the President if that's what you wanted!
The point is that they probably saw your talents
and your unlimited potential, and probably tried
to steer you in the right direction...
Offering encouragement and hope that you could
do anything you set your mind to doing, to
accomplishing.
That's positive reinforcement.
That's a good thing for a parent to do.
That's a good thing for a bipolar supporter to
do as well.
One of the things that I teach in my courses/systems
is that you should be supportive to your loved
one and not let their bipolar disorder hold them
back.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But it shouldn't hold you back, either.
You should still be able to do anything that
you want to do, too.
If you still want to work a full-time job, for
example, you should be able to do that without
having to worry about what your loved one will
do without having you around to "babysit" them.
If you do, that's called codependency.
If they get in trouble without you around, perhaps
they are too dependent on you to keep them out of
trouble, and that isn't a healthy thing.
You should be able to trust them to be ok when
you're not around, at least as much as to be able
to work at a job outside the home.
However, I know one woman who tried to work,
but her husband would call her 10 and 12 times a
day at work, until she was let go from her job
because they said they just couldn't have that
happening there.
Your loved one needs to have something to do
while you work so that they don't do things like
that.
They need to be productive in their own right so
that they aren't so dependent on you.
They need to have their own strong support network,
for example, and their own social network as well.
They could even have their own job - either part-
time, or at least a volunteer position, just something
that gets them out of the house - or even a home
business might work for them.
You should also be able to have your own friends
that you can see when you want.
It's healthy for you to have a social life outside of
your loved one so that their bipolar disorder doesn't
overwhelm you. It's something you need.
Go to lunch with a friend every once in a while -
it will do you good.
For your own mental and emotional well-being, you
should be able to go out and do things on your own.
You shouldn't feel trapped by your loved one.
And you shouldn't feel guilty at leaving them alone at
home, or fear for what might happen.
They should be learning how to manage their own
disorder, and to be independent to some degree.
They shouldn't need you to such a degree that you
can't do what you want to do, or it isn't healthy.
If you feel as if your loved one and/or their bipolar
disorder is holding you back, then you need to talk
to them about it.
You need to be able to do the things you need and
want to do.
And they need to have things that they do on their own
without you as well.
Perhaps having them go to a Day Center might help, or
scheduling other activities for them that you aren't
involved with.
Try giving them a To-Do List of tasks to accomplish for
when you aren't home and which they don't depend on
you for help with.
Try encouraging them to take up a new project - one
that will take more than one day to accomplish.
Perhaps some community involvement might interest
them.
The main thing is that you be able to be independent,
though, so that you get a break from your loved one's
bipolar disorder, as you need that.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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