Bipolar: Don’t Compromise When it Comes to This
Published: Fri, 05/10/13
Hi ,
How are you feeling today?
I hope you're feeling fine.
Everyone has values, things they believe in that,
no matter what anyone says or does, they can't
be shaken from these beliefs.
Some people's are religious beliefs, and no matter
what, you couldn't sway them from their religious
beliefs (not that I'm saying you should ever try -
I'm not saying that at all, so don't get me wrong).
Other people have political views that, no matter
what, you couldn't get them to believe anything
else other than what they believe, right or wrong.
That's how strong they are in their beliefs.
But then there are other things, like personal opinions,
that aren't like these other things I mentioned.
They're not like facts, that can be proven right or wrong.
They're just opinions, so they can be swayed.
Then there are people who are what some people call
"wishy-washy." They don't seem to have any opinions
or beliefs of their own.
They just go along with what everyone else thinks
or believes. These people just want to "fit in with
the crowd."
As a supporter, I teach you in my courses/systems that
there are some things you have to do in order to be a
good supporter, to be the best supporter you can be to
your loved one with bipolar disorder.
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There are some things you can compromise on.
Like you might want to go out and do something,
but if your loved one isn't feeling up to it, then you
can compromise and stay home.
If you are helping your loved one keep a To-Do List
and they don't get to all the things on their list, that's
ok.
You can compromise on that, and assure them that
it's ok, that they can get to the other things tomorrow.
If you make a decision that your loved one doesn't
agree with, then the two of you can talk about it, and
there will probably be a compromise in there somewhere.
Sometimes you even have to put some of your own needs
aside because of your loved one's bipolar disorder, and
that involves compromise.
BUT...
If your loved one asks you to do something that could
damage them and their bipolar disorder in some way,
on that you should NEVER compromise!
For example:
If they say they're tired of taking their medication,
and ask you to stop getting it filled at the drugstore.
That's something you cannot compromise on. They
need their medication to maintain their stability.
Or if they want to start skipping their appointments
with their doctor, psychiatrist and/or therapist, and tell
you they don't need you to drive them anymore, that
they can get there by themselves, if they feel the need
to go, whenever.
That's something you can't compromise on, because
that, too, could jeopardize their stability.
What if they start wanting to sleep all the time, and tell
you to just leave them alone and let them sleep as much
as they want, or if they start isolating in the house, not
wanting to go anywhere, when you usually encourage
them to be productive and get out of bed and do things?
That's an area where you can't compromise, either, because
if you do, you know that too much sleep and isolation
can lead to a bipolar episode.
What if you see other signs or symptoms of an impending
episode, like triggers happening, like your loved one stops
taking care of themselves, or stops caring about you and
your relationship?
You can't just not say anything. On this you can't compromise.
You have to say something to them about it.
What if your loved one becomes manic, starts spending
excessively, starts making rash decisions, or becomes angry
at you and expressing it in ways that are intolerable to you?
That, especially is something on which you cannot compromise.
You have to take some action.
Just like the person whose values cannot be swayed no matter
what, as a good supporter, you cannot let certain things slide.
If you believe that your loved one is starting to show the signs
of going into a bipolar episode, you cannot compromise.
You have to take action.
If your loved one won't listen to you, then at least try to get a
message to their doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist.
Your loved one should have a signed Medical Release Form
on file in their offices allowing you to talk to them. But let
someone know what is happening.
Don't compromise on this.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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