Bipolar: Important to Your Relationship
Published: Thu, 06/20/13
Hi ,
How's your day going today?
I hope it's a really great one.
We hear a lot about how important
communication is.
Especially in a relationship, bipolar disorder
or not.
Many supporters of a loved one with bipolar
disorder tell me that it's very hard to communicate
with their loved one.
Here are some of the complaints I've heard from
other supporters:
1. My loved one sleeps too much
2. My loved one isolates
3. They won't talk about things,
or will only talk about surface
things
4. They watch TV all the time
5. They are "in their own little
world"
6. They are rarely home (and
then only to eat and sleep)
7. They ignore me
8. They don't listen to what
I'm really saying
9. They are self-centered
10. They complain all the time
Now, first of all, how can you communicate with
someone who sleeps all the time?
Consider that they may have a problem such as
being over-medicated, in which case you should
talk to their doctor.
But also consider that they may be sleeping to avoid
talking with you (or anyone else).
Don't take this personally, it could be part of their
bipolar disorder - possibly even a sign that they are
in a depressive episode.
As far as your loved one isolating (and therefore not
really "there" to even talk to), isolation is both a trigger
to a bipolar episode and a symptom of one.
So, again, don't take it personally, but if you think they
are in an episode, contact their doctor.
Hypersomnia (sleeping too much) and isolation are just
two of the symptoms of a bipolar episode that I go over
in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Some supporters tell me that their loved one just sits
around and watches TV all the time, seeming to shut
them out.
Well, some people with bipolar disorder will do this,
if they're trying to escape their disorder (shut the
world out).
The problem with that is not only that they won't
communicate with you, but also that they won't get any
better, because they need to be productive and do
something other than just sit in front of the TV doing
nothing.
Some supporters complain that their loved one is rarely
home, and even then only to eat and sleep.
They feel slighted, and their feelings are hurt.
But they don't tell their loved one that they're feeling this
way, so the person has no reason to act any different.
Even if they are home, they may ignore you, not listen to
what you're really saying, be self-centered, and complain
all the time.
None of these situations lends itself to good communication.
Some supporters have even told me that even when their
loved one does talk to them, that it's only about surface
things, and not their thoughts and feelings.
If your loved one is talking to you but doing it in the form
of complaining, or only surface things, they are not really
communicating.
They are just talking AT you, instead of WITH you (especially
for those who say their loved one doesn't listen to them).
Your loved one may be so consumed by their bipolar disorder
and the issues surrounding it that they give no consideration
toward good communication with you.
You need to sit down together when your loved one is NOT
in an episode, and communicate your thoughts and feelings
to them.
As long as you do it in a supportive, loving way, instead of
an angry or hostile way (such as: "You NEVER talk to me!"
which will make them feel defensive), they should be able to
hear what you're saying.
As long as you aren't pushy, they may be willing to open up
to you and trust you enough to tell you what their thoughts
and feelings really are.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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