Bipolar: Getting What You Pay For
Published: Fri, 09/20/13
Hi ,
How are you feeling today?
I hope you're feeling good.
Have you ever seen this commercial for a
chocolate candy that is made up of AIR in the
middle?
That's right, just AIR!
And they're marketing this like it's a desirable
thing!
Like you're supposed to want it, and want to pay
more for a candy that's nothing but AIR in the
middle!
Am I wrong here, or are they just insulting my
intelligence, but I don't think that this is a really
good thing here.
I think this is an EMPTY thing (just air) that
they're trying to make us believe is something
desirable, something we should want and think is
really cool.
Well, I for one, don't think it's really cool. Or
desirable.
I think it's a rip-off.
I don't think in this life that you get something
for nothing.
I think that "You get what you pay for," as the
saying goes.
Like even with bipolar disorder:
You get what you "pay for" even with bipolar
disorder - in other words, you get what you
expect.
Here's what I'm talking about:
Say that you wake up in the morning, and you
expect that today is just going to be more of the
same, that your loved one is going to be just as
bad today as they were yesterday, and there is
just no hope.
Well, guess what?
You get what you pay for!
Chances are...
Your loved one WILL be just as bad today then as
they were yesterday.
You've kind of "doomed" them to no improvement,
because you don't expect any more from them than
that.
And if that's the way you're going to be, you're kind
of enabling them.
I go over the concept of enabling, among other important
concepts, in my courses/systems below:
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When you enable your loved one, you allow them
to continue unacceptable behavior, because you
don't expect any better of them.
So why should they even try to do any better if it's
not expected of them?
I mean, if you don't expect it of them, why should
they expect it of themselves?
Have you ever heard the expression:
"If nothing changes, nothing changes."
It might seem obvious to you, but it's true.
Nothing changes unless you change it.
But if you don't see that anything needs to change,
you're not going to change it.
In other words, if everything is going along, and
you think that everything's fine, you won't see a
need for change.
That's how your loved one will be.
Yet they may be doing things that are unacceptable
to you.
They may be doing things like in a bipolar episode
that have no consequences to them, so they won't
see any need to change their behavior at all, but
these things can really hurt you.
And you may be feeling some really bad feelings
inside because of this.
Some negative feelings that you're just stuffing.
Feelings like:
- Frustration
- Anger
- Disappointment
- Mistrust
- Loneliness
- Self-Pity
- Resentment
- Guilt
And if you keep stuffing these feelings, well...
You "get what you pay for" there, too.
In other words, it could make you sick.
It will come out in some way.
Like give you headaches, stomach aches, body
aches, etc.
So you have to do something about it.
You have to talk to your loved one about their
unacceptable behavior, and even set some limits
or consequences to their behavior.
I know it may be the last thing you really want
to do.
But still...
For your own sake...
You have to do it.
Or you're going to get sick, and you don't want
that.
The best thing to do is...
Wait for a time when they are receptive to you,
maybe a time when they are in a good mood, and
just openly share your feelings with them.
Hopefully, they will hear you and be willing to
change and accept what you have to say.
At least you have to try.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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