Bipolar: Which is More Important to You?
Published: Tue, 10/15/13
Hi ,
How are you doing today?
I hope your day is going well.
I recently was asked this question:
"Which is more important, to be right or to be
happy?"
I thought about this question because of this
situation:
A friend of mine from the gym was talking to me
about his relationship with his girlfriend.
See, they keep getting into these fights, and he
just doesn't understand why they keep getting
into them.
A small misunderstanding can turn into the biggest
fight for them!
So he was telling me about some of the things they
have fought over, and you know what?
I agree with him!
I wouldn't understand how it happened, either.
Except for one thing.
I know this guy.
I know that he LOVES to be right.
And sometimes, if he disagrees with you, he won't
stop trying to make you admit you're wrong (whether
you really are or not) and give in to him.
So I can definitely see how there might be
communication problems with his girlfriend
and why they would fight so much.
In my courses/systems below, I talk about how
important it is to have good communication when
you're dealing with bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
So he asks me, "Which is more important - to be
right or to be happy?"
Hmmm....
I had to think about that one for all of about 2
seconds!
I know a couple who dealt with this same problem,
Only BOTH of them have bipolar disorder, so it
was even harder for them.
So they had to come up with something to "fix"
their communication because they were fighting
all the time, many times because neither of them
would give in.
Each of them firmly believed that they were right.
So what do you do in that situation?
This is what they did:
AGREE TO DISAGREE
They both decided it was better to be happy than
to be right.
She even teases him and says things like, "Ok,
you can be right this time!" LOL
Agreeing to disagree is all about compromise.
If you still feel you have to be right, and/or you
won't stop until the other person "gives in," like
my friend, then you are not going to have good
communication.
And neither of you is going to be very happy.
Whereas, if you agree to disagree, you can each
maintain your feeling that you are right, but you
compromise anyway.
This is really important in any relationship, not
just one in which one of the people has bipolar
disorder.
How would you answer this question if I asked
you, "Which is more important - to be right or to be
happy?"
I think when it's written out in black and white like
that, the answer is obvious.
But an unwillingness to compromise, or AGREE
TO DISAGREE, is the reason that many people in
bipolar relationships fight so often.
If you agree to disagree, you are showing respect to
the other person, and basically telling them that you
acknowledge that they have a right to believe what
they believe and/or feel what they feel.
Which is more important to you?
AGREE TO DISAGREE can be such an important
part to good communication.
But you have to agree with the philosophy.
Then you have to practice it.
What do you think?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarsupporterblog/bipolar-which-is-more-important-to-you/comment-page-1/#comment-88506
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter
Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com