Bipolar: Just Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Published: Sat, 11/30/13
Hi ,
How are you feeling today?
I hope you're feeling great.
I was at one of the bipolar support groups that
I attend the other night.
And I was talking to this woman whose husband
has bipolar disorder.
I asked her how he was doing.
And she said, "Great."
But she didn't say it very enthusiastically at all.
So I asked her how come she wasn't very
excited about that.
And she said, 'I'm just waiting for the other shoe
to drop."
I asked her what she meant...
And she said, "Any time he does great for awhile,
it seems like the next bipolar episode is right
around the corner, so it's like I'm just waiting
for the next shoe to drop. Like I know it's
coming any time now."
She was telling me how uncomfortable a
position that places her into, how she can
never relax when her husband is doing "great" -
she never feels like she can enjoy his times of
stability, because she's afraid of an oncoming
episode.
I told her that's no way to live - that they should
be able to enjoy his periods of normalcy and
stability much more.
She said she would love to, except that she just
can't get the thought out of her mind that he's
bound to have that next episode any time now.
In my courses/systems, I talk about how if your
loved one is doing what they need to do to manage
their bipolar disorder, they will go longer and longer
between bipolar episodes.
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So it's up to you, as their supporter, whether you
feel and think and act like this woman from the
support group and wait around for the next bipolar
shoe to drop...
Or whether you enjoy your loved one's periods of
normalcy, understanding that, if they are managing
their disorder the right way, they will have more
and more of them.
Bipolar episodes are hard enough to go through -
You know that.
And there is a period of time after each of them that
you don't trust your loved one, because you are afraid
they will "slip" into bipolar behavior.
This is normal.
However, after awhile, you can begin to trust them
again.
After awhile of non-symptomatic behavior, your
loved one will be acting stable.
This is called a normal period.
And, like I said before, with proper management
of their bipolar disorder, they (and you) will enjoy
more and more normal periods, longer periods
without bipolar episodes.
You don't have to sit around waiting for the other
shoe to drop.
You can enjoy these periods.
Do what you would enjoy doing.
Go places, do things, especially those things you
were putting off doing because your loved one
was episodic.
As long as your loved one stays on their medication
and adheres to their treatment (goes to see their
psychiatrist and therapist) and takes care of themselves
and their bipolar, there is no reason you can't do the
things you want to do when and where you want to
do them.
If you cower or give in to fear, like this woman from
the support group, you are letting the disorder manage
you instead of the other way around.
And that's not right.
You need to be the ones managing your loved one's
bipolar disorder.
And part of that management is controlling the time
between episodes.
The normal periods.
Like I said, be determined to enjoy them as much as
you can.
You shouldn't be spending those normal periods
just waiting around for the next bipolar episode to
hit.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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