Bipolar: Peace on Earth Not Just for Christmas
Published: Wed, 02/26/14
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
At Christmastime we see and hear the sentiment
"Peace on Earth Goodwill Toward Men..."
But when you're dealing with a loved one with
bipolar disorder, don't you sometimes wish you
could have "Peace on Earth" all year round?
Yes, when you have a loved one with bipolar
disorder, there will inevitably be times when
there won't be peace between you.
Unfortunately, there will be times when your
loved one won't even be at peace with themselves.
That's one of the problems when they're first
diagnosed, in fact. Usually they are finally
diagnosed because they are either in, or just
coming out of, a major bipolar episode.
During a bipolar episode, especially a manic one,
they can do things they're not very proud of. This
can leave them not feeling very good about
themselves.
In fact, just the fact that they have a mental illness
can affect their self-esteem in a negative way and
cause them to feel bad about themselves, so that
even long after they're diagnosed with bipolar
disorder they may still struggle with self-esteem
issues.
In fact, poor self-esteem can be one of the indicators
of having bipolar disorder to begin with.
I go over this, and the other symptoms of bipolar
disorder in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Because your loved one struggles with their own
self-esteem, they probably have a poor self-image
as well, so they probably have a problem seeing
you for who you really are.
This leads to a problem with trusting you. That is,
they will naturally not trust you.
This will lead to problems in the relationship, of
course.
Which probably explains at least one of the reasons
why you may fight so often.
Another reason could be that their problems with poor
self-esteem and lack of trust lead to insecurities.
They find it hard to believe that you really care
about them in spite of their bipolar disorder.
They know that sometimes their behavior is not
acceptable (like getting agitated and angry, or some
of the things they do in a bipolar episode, for example),
but they still do it anyway, then they get mad at
themselves for doing that behavior, and then take
that anger out on you - it's just a vicious cycle
of bipolar behavior.
Definitely NOT "Peace on Earth," is it?
Problems with anger and rage can be a symptom
of a bipolar manic episode.
This can be controlled by medication that will
control the mood swings and hopefully prevent
episodes.
But the issues behind the emotional side of your
loved one's anger, like their anger at having bipolar
disorder, for instance, can be worked out in therapy.
Therapy will help them learn how to appropriately
channel that anger and rage and how to handle those
negative feelings in the right way, and not to take
them out on you.
Medication can also help in some instances; say, for
example, if anxiety and stress are the root cause
and have led up to the anger and rage, then medication
can help curb the anxiety.
The important thing is for your loved one to get
treatment for their bipolar disorder.
Without treatment, there is no hope for them to ever
get better - for them ever to find peace with
themselves, much less for there to be peace
between the two of you (i.e., less fighting).
And I'm sure you would like there to be less fighting,
as most supporters of a loved one with bipolar
disorder do. They report that fighting is one of the
most common symptoms of their loved one's disorder
and the cause of dysfunction in their relationship.
Many supporters take their loved one's anger personally,
which they shouldn't do.
Don't take it personally. In most cases, they really
aren't mad at you, but just mad in general, or mad
at their disorder, or mad at themselves, etc.
And if you take it personally, you may be apt to
want to get mad at them right back, which will
just cause more fighting and just make things
worse, not accomplishing anything.
Your loved one needs to learn how to deal with
conflict in a relationship in a healthy way (i.e.
communicating about it), instead of fighting about
it, which also just makes things worse.
So that's another thing they can learn in therapy.
Therapy will also teach them how to have a healthy
relationship with you in spite of their bipolar
disorder, and how to communicate effectively with
you, which they may also need to learn.
It may be very difficult for you to even imagine
there being peace with your loved one, but don't
give up hope.
With treatment (medication and therapy), it is
possible that your loved one can learn how to
cope and deal with their bipolar disorder issues.
First, they need to come to terms with their
past.
For one thing, this means that they need to let
go of things they can't control.
They may seem to you to be a very controlling
person, and this too may be a source of contention
between you.
They may even try to control you, because they
feel like they have no control over anything else
in their world.
I'm not saying this is right, just that it might explain
some of their behavior.
This is something else that they should be working
on in therapy.
Hopefully, by working on past issues, it will help
them to deal with the present easier, and they will
stop being so controlling.
As they progress in their therapy, this and other
issues will get better, and there will be more
peace in their life and between the two of you.
What do you think?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarsupporterblog/bipolar-peace-on-earth-not-just-for-christmas/comment-page-1/#comment-843979
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter
Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com