Bipolar: No Quick Fixes
Published: Fri, 04/25/14
Hi,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
Remember when you were little...
And you would get hurt...
Like falling down and getting a scrape
on your knee?
And your mom would kiss it and put a
bandaid on it...
It would be like getting an immediate fix
to your hurt, wouldn't it?
Unfortunately, when you grow up, there are
very few (if any) immediate fixes to your problems
any more.
Your problems are much bigger and more complicated
than just scrapes on a knee.
And the answers are much bigger and more
complicated than just kisses and bandaids,
too.
And, for many of us, Mom isn't around to fix
our problems for us, either.
Or, if she is, she isn't able to.
In my courses/systems, I talk about problem
solving techniques for when you're facing some
of those complicated problems that you face not
only when you're an adult, but when you're an adult
dealing with bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
For some things there just isn't an immediate fix,
like when it comes to bipolar disorder.
If there were, the psychiatrists and therapists
would all be out of business, wouldn't they?
And there would be no need for your loved one
to do any changing, because they'd be perfect.
Unfortunately, nobody is perfect.
Especially someone who has bipolar disorder.
Not even a supporter who is dealing with
someone with the disorder.
There are no easy answers to the problems you
face.
This is not an illness that has an immediate fix
to it, and the decisions you make have to reflect
that.
The choices you make today will be reflected in
consequences down the line tomorrow, and the
next day, and the days and weeks and months
after that.
We're all responsible for the decisions and choices
that we make.
That's one thing that your loved one needs to
understand.
When they hurt you, there are consequences to
their actions.
They can't just get away with it.
You have feelings that get hurt, and you have
reactions to their actions.
You have a right to your feelings, too.
You shouldn't have to walk around on eggshells,
afraid to say or do the wrong thing.
You shouldn't be afraid all the time of setting them
off, of making them go into a rage.
You shouldn't have to change who you are just to
please them.
You shouldn't have to be so concerned about how
what you do affects them so that they might take
it out on you.
You shouldn't have to worry that something you
do would make them go into a bipolar episode.
And, like I was saying earlier, there is no immediate
fix to the problem of bipolar disorder.
And many times, that bipolar disorder can cause
problems in the relationship...
For which there are no quick fixes either.
Those things need time and effort to work out.
Just like your loved one is working on managing
their bipolar disorder, and you are working on being
a good supporter, you both need to work on making
the relationship a good, strong one, in spite of your
loved one's bipolar disorder.
So there are some things that will pop up that need to
be worked on at the moment...
Then there are things that need to be worked on
constantly (like communication).
But either way, there are no quick fixes.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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