Bipolar? Try Moving Your Buttons
Published: Mon, 11/09/15
Hi,
How's it going for you today?
I hope it's a good day for you.
Do you and your loved one fight a lot?
Then you might relate to the email I recently
got:
“Dear Dave,
I am so tired of the fighting. There just doesn’t
seem to be an end to it any more. I hate it! I don’t
want to walk around mad all the time but that’s what
it feels like any more. Every time I turn around my
wife says something that well just pushes my buttons!
And she knows how to do it boy does she ever! She
knows just how to say that one thing that just pushes
me over the edge and make me so mad that I see red!
And then I just want to punch something. And I could’ve
been having a great day up to then and the fight just
comes out of nowhere that’s how it goes. But it happens
that way all the time lately. She just picks on me. About
everything. She just picks and picks at me. Like I said
she pushes my buttons. I don’t know what to do. I try
not to fight back I really do but she just makes me so
mad. I know its probably just the bipolar talking but
then I think that’s just an excuse and she could help
it if she wanted to she just doesn’t try. But I am just
so sick of all the fighting. Does everyone go thru this?
George”
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Well…
I can certainly sympathize with George.
And I can’t say whether everyone goes through the
fighting or not, but I do know that many, many supporters
do report that they go through fights with their loved ones.
And I know that even I had to go through a fight or
two with my mom trying to get her to do what needed
to be done to get better with her bipolar disorder.
It got really bad sometimes, like when she yelled at me
and screamed that she didn’t want me to be her son any
more.
So I know what this man means about how his loved one
can make him so mad by pushing his buttons.
It’s a sad fact, but our loved ones are so close to us that
they know what will hurt us the most.
And sometimes in their own anger, they will lash out and
use that to try to hurt us or make us angry and fight back.
Unfortunately, fighting is just one of the things that can
happen when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar
disorder, like I talk about in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But just because it’s a common thing, doesn’t mean you
have to put up with it.
Consider this story that Michele told me about her and her
son, Tyler, when he was a teenager:
Teenagers can sometimes be very belligerent, but Tyler
would get downright cruel sometimes, and his barbs would
hurt Michele so bad that she would run into her room
crying.
He always knew how to push her buttons.
She would be feeling fine, and with just a word or two
from him, she would be pushed to such anger, it would
be like going from zero to 60 in a car in seconds!
The problem was, he had “learned” that he could get
that reaction by doing or saying certain things.
To Michele it seemed like he did it on purpose, and
maybe he did. It didn’t matter, the result was the same.
He would say something that pushed her buttons, and
she would respond in anger, and a fight would inevitably
ensue.
Then he would say more things during the fight that
would push more buttons and make her even angrier,
and always, out of hurt or anger, she would end up
running to her room crying, and Tyler would “win”
the fight every time.
One day, Michele was telling a friend about this problem
of Tyler pushing her buttons and them fighting all the
time, and the friend said simply, “Move your buttons.”
She didn’t understand at first, because it seemed so simple,
but her friend explained. “Whenever he tries to push
your button, don’t react. Even if you get hurt or angry,
don’t show it. Don’t say anything back. Just ignore it.
Every time he does it.”
At first, when Tyler would push her buttons, Michele
felt hurt and angry, but didn’t show it.
But after awhile, she didn’t even feel the hurt or anger.
Eventually, because he didn’t get the response he expected
Tyler stopped trying to push her buttons, and the fighting
stopped.
If you’re finding yourself in a lot of fights with your
loved one like George or like Michele…
And you feel like they’re pushing your buttons too…
You might want to try moving your buttons.
It worked for Michele!
Just think about it…
No more getting hurt and angry!
No more fighting!
Wouldn’t that be great?
What do you think?
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http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarsupporterblog/bipolar-try-moving-your-buttons/comment-page-1/#comment-1337521
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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