Do You Always Need to Know?
Published: Wed, 11/11/15
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope your day is going well.
Have you ever heard the question asked,
"If a tree falls in the forest and there's no
one around to hear it fall, does it still make
a sound?"
Or what about the question, "When you shut
the door on your refrigerator, does the light
still stay on?"
Do you believe there are people who really
worry about the answers to these questions
(and others like them)?
Maybe it's because they've got nothing better
to do with their time, or maybe because they've
got too much time on their hands.
Maybe it's because these types of people always
have to know what's going to happen ahead of
time or they feel insecure.
O maybe they just have to know all the answers
to everything.
These are the types of people who can't deal with
unpredictability.
But as a supporter, you have to live with this
(unpredictability) all the time, since bipolar disorder
is not a predictable illness.
Wait. Let me take that back for a second.
Yes, you can know predictability in two ways:
1. You CAN know the signs and symptoms of the
disorder.
2. You CAN know your loved one's warning signs
and triggers.
But you CAN'T predict when a bipolar episode
is going to happen. Not even a psychiatrist can
predict that.
It's like a fortune teller predicting the future!
You also have to live with unpredictability (usually
a lot of it) when your loved one is in an episode.
There's no way to predict the behavior of a person
in a manic episode.
Nor is there any way to predict the consequences
of that behavior.
(Unless, of course, you are familiar with the behavior,
and you are the one who has set down the consequences
for the behavior, like if it has happened before, or
something like that.)
Otherwise, you just have to deal with the unpredictability
of it.
Your loved one may go off on a spending spree.
They may exhibit sexually promiscuous behavior.
They may go gambling.
They may exhibit other impulsive risk-taking behaviors.
They may take the checkbook and/or credit cards and put
you into debt.
They may make foolish business decisions or ventures.
They may do other behaviors that you can't predict during
their episode.
One thing that might be of help with the problem of
unpredictability in your life is what I teach in my courses/
systems below: To know your loved one's triggers.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Knowing your loved one's triggers can help
you as a supporter to help your loved one avoid
a bipolar episode.
Then what you can both do is that, after the episode
is over is to look at what happened during the episode
so that it doesn't happen again.
Or what you can do during the episode to minimize
the consequences afterward.
By doing this, you can take some of the unpredictability
out of your loved one's bipolar disorder.
This takes good communication skills between the
two of you.
It also takes a willingness to cooperate and to work at
making things better.
If you hold resentments against your loved one (say,
for something they did during a manic episode), and
you don’t forgive them, you will hold things in, and
you won’t talk to them as readily or willingly.
The same goes for them.
If they don’t feel that they can trust you, for example,
they may hold their thoughts and feelings in, and not
share them with you honestly and openly.
If this happens, you have a breakdown in communication.
Then you’re not fighting on the same team any more.
And there is no chance for being able to cope with the
unpredictability of your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
You need to be together on this issue.
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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