Making Sacrifices Can Hurt
Published: Mon, 11/16/15
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I hope you’re doing well.
I was thinking about something today.
It’s about what we have to do to get ahead
in our society.
It’s what we have to do to reach the goals
we set for ourselves.
It’s what everyone has to do to make their
dreams come true, if they really want them
to.
If anything is really important to you, you
have to do this:
MAKE SACRIFICES
But making sacrifices can hurt.
Here’s what I mean.
I got the following email the other day from
someone who tells it this way:
Dave:
I have a husband Bill who has bipolar disorder.
Usually he is pretty good. Well at least he was
for a long time. So I went out and got a job. This
was good for awhile. But then he went into a deep
depression. He wouldn’t do anything. He would
get up and he would get out of bed, but only to go
to the couch. When I left for work, he would be
on the couch, and when I got home from work, he
would still be on that couch. And nothing would
be done around the house.
I started to get mad, because I would be tired
from work and have to come home and do
everything around the house, too. But this
wouldn’t even bother him because he was so
depressed.
I started to think that it was because of me
working that he was so depressed, so I sacrificed
my job just to stay home and take care of him.
But he isn’t any better. And now all the bills
from his bipolar disorder are mounted up and
are getting bigger, and we don’t have any way
to pay for them because I don’t have my job any
more.
I don’t even know what to do. I can’t work
because I need to take care of Bill, but if I don’t
work, we don’t have the money to pay for his bills
for his bipolar disorder. I am so frustrated, I feel
like giving up myself.
Help me, Dorothy.
------------------------------------------------------------
See, the thing is…
MAKING SACRIFICES CAN HURT YOU
In other words, you can sacrifice so much
that it hurts.
In my courses/systems, I talk about enabling your
loved one:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Enabling is when you do things that allow your
loved one to continue doing unacceptable behavior.
This is bad for both of you.
Like with Dorothy in the email.
Yes, she made a sacrifice for her husband in
quitting work to stay home and take care of him
and his bipolar disorder.
And on the surface that seems like a good thing.
It seems like something she should be congratulated
for, actually.
Like she’s being a super supporter.
But is she really?
Actually, she is being an enabler, when you really
look at it.
And she is hurting both of them (remember, she
talked about the bills?)
They are at least being hurt financially.
The better sacrifice would be if she got Bill the
help he really needed.
For her, she should be able to work if that’s what
she wants.
It is NOT her responsibility to stay at home and
take care of her husband.
He is an adult and he should take care of himself,
in spite of the fact that he has bipolar disorder.
If he is in a depressive episode and is laying around
on the couch every day depressed, he does need
help.
Rather than her quitting her job, it sounds like
maybe he needs a change in his medication.
What do you think?
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http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarsupporterblog/making-sacrifices-can-hurt/comment-page-1/#comment-1341571
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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