Bipolar Supporter? Tricks to Being a Better Supporter
Published: Mon, 06/01/09
Hi ,
Hope you're doing ok.
Today I want to concentrate on you,
and on tricks to being a better
supporter.
You may be thinking you already
know what I'm going to say, but
then you might learn a new trick
or two, also!
If you haven't already, read everything
you can on bipolar disorder.
You may have done this when your
loved one was first diagnosed,
but there is always new information
coming out on the subject.
There are new books, information
on the Internet, articles at the library,
etc.
Also, talk to other supporters, because
they might have new information
as well.
Stay informed, always stay educated!
One thing I teach in my courses/systems
is to NOT be an enabler.
Don't do things for your loved one that
they can do for themselves.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Another thing you need to do is
make your loved one take responsibility
for their own decisions, choices,
actions, and the consequences of
those actions.
Remember, you are NOT an enabler.
It may not be easy to live with the
consequences of what your loved one
does during an episode, and it may be
hard at first to make them take
responsibility for them, but you have to.
You are not responsible for what they
do, THEY are!
They are an adult, and so are you.
You have to take care of your own
decisions, choices, actions, and the
consequences of those actions, don't
you?
Then so should your loved one.
This is especially true when they go
into an episode.
There may be financial consequences.
There may even be legal consequences.
But if you rescue them every time, what
would make them take responsibility?
If you want to be a good supporter,
don't be an enabler!
They should also be responsible for
taking their own bipolar medication.
You shouldn't have to make them take
it, or else they will become too
dependent on you.
Also, you should never let your guard
down.
If you do, your loved one might get
lazy and slip back into their old
habits, thinking that nobody is
looking.
Like not taking their medication,
or not going to appointments.
They might even begin to sleep
too much (or too little), or to isolate.
They could begin to stress, or be
in stressful situations.
These are all triggers to episodes,
so you need to watch for them.
Watch for mood changes as well.
You also need to be on guard for
all signs and symptoms of both
manic and depressive bipolar episodes.
Don't ever let your guard down,
thinking that your loved one has been
stable so long that they will never
have another episode, because they will!
And, perhaps, the most important
advice of all -
Don't forget to take care of yourself!
You won't be any good to your loved
one if you're not good to yourself first.
Many a supporter has been known to
suffer burn-out because they spent all
their time and energy meeting their
loved one's needs but not their own.
It is NOT selfish to take care of
yourself!
Think about it this way:
What would your loved one with
bipolar disorder do if something
ever happened to you?
It's not just your loved one who
has to get the right amount of sleep,
exercise, and eat a healthy diet.
You need to do the same thing.
You also need to do some of the
same things I tell people with
bipolar disorder to do to maintain
their stability, like:
- Maintain balance
- Stay healthy
- Be productive
- Have a hobby
- Have a social life
- Spend time with family
- Have a good relationship
- Etc.
In other words, take care of yourself,
and make sure all your needs are met
physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually.
I hope you've learned at least one thing
you didn't know before, so you can be
a better supporter!
Do you have any other suggestions
or tricks to being a better supporter?
Let me know, and I may use them!
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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