Supporting Someone in a Bipolar Episode
Published: Mon, 06/15/09
Hi ,
How are you?
Hey, I am actually off to New York City
going to a convention to help
with growing this organization.
I have to get going again.
So let's get going.
On my blog, Rev. Parsons posted:
"What do you do when you are
all that and because of their condition
they decide they don't need you
anymore?
My wife is Bipolar ( we think) she
went to a psydoc this week and the
doctor said there was nothing wrong
with her.
She could not describe her symptoms
very well(at times she is delusional
and has no idea what she has said
or done)
My wife is 8 weeks pregnant and
has been gone for a week now and of
course blames me for everything
and now can't decide whether she
wants to be with me or not (says she
loves me and does not want to be
with anyone else but has cheated on
me in the past) what do you do????
I am there for my wife whom I love
dearly but how do you help someone
that does not have an official diagnosis
and does not want your help because
they are manic???? what do you do???"
---------------------------------------------
Wow.
I truly sympathize with this man, don't
you? What an awful place to be in if
you're a supporter.
Well, first of all, like I always have to
say, I'm not a medical or mental health
professional, so I can't give any kind of
professional advice in that way.
I can only speak from experience and
from all the thousands of emails and
posts on my blog and forum and all the
other supporters who have contacted
me and who I've talked to.
When someone has bipolar disorder and
they are in an episode, they are not in
their right mind.
Even in my courses/systems, when I
talk about the signs and symptoms of
a bipolar episode, I talk about irrational
thinking as being one of them.
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So this man's wife just up and deciding
she doesn't need him any more is a sign
of that.
But many people with bipolar disorder
are also good at manipulating other
people, like doctors, psychiatrists,
and therapists.
They can also be in denial.
Especially in a manic episode, when
they are so "high," and feeling so good,
that they really do not believe that
anything is wrong with them.
They can even act as if there is nothing
wrong with them, and that's how they can
"fool" the doctors into not diagnosing their
bipolar disorder, like this man's wife did.
Unfortunately, many doctors will miss the
diagnosis for this very reason.
It's easy to see depressive behavior, because it's
pretty much hard to hide, so a diagnosis is
pretty easy to make.
But a manic episode is different, and that's what
Rev. Parsons is describing.
Many times someone in a manic episode cannot
describe their symptoms because they just don't
know them very well, so the fact that she couldn't
describe them to the doctor very well either may not
be just because she was delusional, but because she
was just not aware of the systems of mania.
He also could be right about her not having any idea
about what she says or does. This is a big part of
a manic episode.
There are several problems he describes in his post
on my blog, some of which I can address, and some
of which I can't.
Like the fact that she is 8 weeks pregnant. That really
concerns me, but I am not a doctor. I would urge him
to get her to a doctor, though, because this could be
very dangerous both to his wife and to the baby.
As far as her blaming him for everything, that is
also typical manic behavior, and part of the irrational
and delusional thinking I talked about earlier.
He says, "She has cheated on me in the past..." and
that is also part of manic behavior.
One of the signs of a manic episode is risky sexual
behavior. This can include affairs, no matter how
loyal the spouse has been in the past.
Now, comes the hard part.
Two questions:
1. How do you get someone diagnosed?
2. How do you help someone who doesn't want
to be helped because they are manic?
As far as getting someone diagnosed while they are
in an episode, you have to find a good doctor, or get
them to a hospital, while they are acting out and the
symptoms are obvious, so they can't manipulate or
"fool" the doctor.
As far as the other question, it's a little more complicated.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
The best you can do is try to get them to see that they
do need help.
If you can't do that, you are going to have to consider
involuntary hospitalization, where you will have to
hospitalize them against their will.
Have any of you had this experience?
What advice would you give this man?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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