Important Notice and Bipolar Disorder? Lesson From a Polished Stone
Published: Sat, 08/08/09
Hi ,
I hope you're having a good week.
This will be the last weekend for
sending bipolar daily emails.
They will be sent Monday through Friday
starting next week.
I will tell you why over the coming days.
But I have to get going so let's get
into today's topic.
A friend of mine just got back from
vacation and was telling me about it.
She was on the beach collecting shells
and found a smooth, polished stone.
She explained to me how these stones
start off as rough and what we think
of as normal looking stones, but after
time and the ocean tides, the stone gets
washed until it is smooth and polished.
The key phrase here is "over time."
That's what made me think of bipolar
disorder.
Because if you're thinking that your
loved one is taking a long time to get
better, you're right.
And that is normal.
Because you can't get stable from bipolar
disorder overnight.
Just like that washed stone, it takes time
for the "ocean tides" to "wash" your loved
one into stability.
Let's compare the two:
First the stone starts off as a normal looking
stone - rough and unpolished, unsmooth.
That would be your loved one before stability.
Then the ocean tides begin to wash over the
stone and start the process of reshaping
the stone.
That would be your loved one getting used
to their medication and changing, adapting
to the bipolar lifestyle.
Then, a little more time goes by, and the
stone begins to get smoother, with the tides
washing the rough edges right off.
That would be your loved one learning
how to manage their bipolar disorder.
Then, after enough time has gone by, that
rock has weathered the ocean tides, and
emerges a smooth, polished stone.
That would be your loved one reaching
stability.
In my courses/systems, I talk about how
stability is a process - it takes time to
happen.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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No, stability doesn't happen overnight.
And it's hard, as a supporter, to be
patient, I know.
And you do have to have a lot of patience
as a supporter during this process.
You have to watch your loved one as
they struggle first with their diagnosis.
Then with their mood swings.
You have to watch them when they are
in episodes, and that can get very hard.
When your loved one is depressed for
a long period of time, and it seems
like nothing you do is helping them,
what do you do if they won't go for help?
That's one of most difficult things that
a supporter has to go through.
Or if your loved one won't take their
medication.
Because these things lead to bipolar
episodes.
Then you're back to square one.
And it's hard to watch this happen.
But remember the ocean tide - it goes
out and comes back in again, over and
over and over.
Remember that stability is a process
that happens over time.
When your loved one goes into a manic
episode, things can get very difficult.
They can get very impulsive, making
rash decisions, being promiscuous,
doing risk-taking behaviors, going on
spending sprees, etc.
It's usually in a manic episode that your
loved one will display behavior that
has consequences to it - perhaps legal
or financial (or otherwise).
Then you have to deal with the fallout,
and that can be especially difficult
for you.
You may have to deal with some negative
feelings at this point; for example,
you may start to feel that this isn't fair,
and thoughts like that.
But hang on, and remember that polished
stone.
Remember the process.
After awhile, you will see your loved one
start changing.
If they do the things they need to do to
be stable - such as taking their medication
religiously, seeing their psychiatrist and
therapist, eating a healthy diet, sleeping
right, exercising, being productive, etc...
Then eventually, they will have less
and less episodes...
And, just like the polished stone...
Your loved one will be stable!
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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