Bipolar Lesson From the Man Who Ripped Off His Shirt
Published: Sun, 08/02/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
I have the funniest story in the
world.
Okay, there's an older guy that
I know that is finally getting into
shape and is in a body building
contest.
He has been training for a while.
He has been training really hard.
This younger guy (I call him a
kid) came up to him and said,
"Dude, you look good."
The guy was like, "I LOOK
GREAT!!!!"
So then the kid says, "I think
it's nice that you're entering
this contest."
But you could tell he was just
trying to be nice. After all, this
guy was like over 50, and he
was just now starting to body
build.
But the older guy was starting
to get mad, like thinking, Hey,
why isn't this little guy thinking
I'm as great as I think I am? or
something.
And eventually the kid said,
"Your arms look smaller than
they've been."
Well, this guy totally flipped
out, actually ripped his shirt off,
and went outside and wanted
to fight the kid. LOL
There was no fight, obviously.
The kid wasn't going to hurt this
older guy.
Here's the thing.
Anyone who trains for body
building or even just loses weight
(fat) knows that when you "cut
up" or drop your body fat from
like 20% to 7% you are going
to get smaller. Duh!
Think about it. It's common sense.
So anyway, this kid got into trouble
for being the bearer of bad news.
He didn't do anything wrong, but
this older guy just didn't want to
hear what the kid had to say.
He probably knew it was the truth,
but he was just in DENIAL.
He wanted to believe what he wanted
to believe, even if it maybe wasn't true.
In his case, he wanted to believe that
he really did look "GREAT!!!" and
that he would win the body building
contest, even though that was
unrealistic.
If you are a bipolar supporter, you may
get yourself into trouble for bringing
your loved one bad news.
They may be in denial as well,
wanting to believe things that aren't
true.
I talk about denial when it comes
to accepting the diagnosis of bipolar
disorder in my courses/systems,
because it is so hard for some people
to accept.
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But it's also hard to accept other
things about the disorder and about
having it.
And because you are so close to
your loved one, you may catch the
brunt of it.
For example, if your loved one is
in a bipolar manic episode, they
might have grandiose ideas.
They may think, like the older man
in my story, that their ideas are
GREAT!!!
So that when you are realistic, and
you tell them that their ideas aren't
great, you're being the bearer of
bad news to them, and they might
turn on you and get mad at you,
when all you're really doing is
telling them the truth.
Of if you sit down with them and
tell them what they've done during
an episode and they don't remember
it (which is very common), your
loved one may get mad at you, and
you're the bearer of bad news again!
Just understand that this phenomenon
(of being the bearer of bad news) is
a common one for supporters of
loved ones with bipolar disorder.
There will be times when you and
your loved one will be on "opposite
sides of the fence," so to speak.
All you can do is to be the best
supporter that you can be, and be
understanding when you have to be
the bringer of bad news, knowing
that you can't always protect your
loved one, as much as you might
like to.
Do you know what I mean by the
phenomenon of "being the bearer
of bad news" when it comes to
bipolar disorder?
Has it happened to you?
How have you dealt with it?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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