Do You Agree? Bipolar Disorder and the A-Word
Published: Tue, 08/04/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
I had something happen to me
recently that was real bad.
I had someone steal my identity.
It was someone on the Internet,
too, so they are "virtually" stealing
my identity.
And then they are saying some
things about me that are NOT true.
But this really hurts me, because
what defense do I have?
If someone slanders you in real life,
you can get a lawyer and sue them.
But if they do it on the Internet,
you can't do that.
This makes me so mad!
I don't know why this guy is doing
it, either.
And I want to ask, Why me?
But I've been thinking about what
I really feel here.
I decided I feel angry, and I wish
this person could be stopped and
held accountable for their actions.
That's the A-Word.
ACCOUNTABLE
When you care about someone with
bipolar disorder and they go into an
episode, you may feel the way I do.
Your loved one will do things in an
episode that they normally wouldn't
do.
And you probably want them to be
held accountable for their actions,
behavior, and consequences.
It would be great if your loved one
would just stop doing what they're
doing, and realize these things for
themselves, wouldn't it?
Just like I wish this guy would stop
doing what he is doing to me.
But wishing isn't going to change
things.
Sometimes we just can't do anything
about the situation.
I know, that's a real hard pill to swallow.
Your instincts may tell you to yell at
your loved one for what they're doing,
but that won't get you anywhere (except
in a fight, which you can't win when
they're in an episode).
You may want to reason with them...
But that can also be a dead end street.
As I talk about in my courses/systems,
when someone with bipolar disorder
goes into an episode, they are not rational.
So reasoning with them can be a very
difficult (sometimes impossible) thing to do.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
As a supporter, you may have been
covering up for your loved one's
behavior (while secretly feeling
resentful toward them).
But all that does is KEEP them from
being held accountable.
You may make excuses for their actions
and behavior to yourself, to justify what
they're doing.
But that also KEEPS them from being
accountable.
In both those cases, you aren't doing
anything, really.
If you yell at them, you're doing something,
but it won't make them accountable.
If you cover up for them or make
excuses to yourself, that won't make
them accountable, either.
But every episode has its consequences.
And you can make your loved one be
accountable for that.
For example, if they got caught shoplifting,
they will have legal consequences that
they will have to face, and you can't do
it for them.
If they began abusing alcohol and/or
drugs in a manic episode, they will
have consequences.
They may have legal consequences
they will have to be held accountable
for.
Or they may now be an alcoholic or
addict even after the episode is over...
And they are accountable for that.
The main thing about holding your
loved one accountable for their actions,
behavior, and consequences, is that
you do NOT make excuses for them,
and you don't cover for them.
Some supporters, however, believe
that they should help their loved one
in these cases, and they do cover up
and make excuses for them.
Do you agree with me, or these
other supporters?
Or do you think my way is too harsh?
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http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/index.php/bipolar-disorder-and-the-a-word/2074/comment-page-1/#comment-13281
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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