Bipolar? Be Friends First
Published: Wed, 08/19/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
Bill, a friend of mine, has a mother
with bipolar disorder.
She didn't find it out until recently, either,
and she's in her 60's.
It took a major episode that put her in
the hospital to find out her diagnosis.
She got put on the right medication and
is seeing a therapist now, and is very
stable.
In fact, she's getting married!
But here's the most important thing -
The man she's going to marry knew that
he had to learn more about bipolar disorder .
He recognized that that would be a
necessity if he was going to marry her
and be her supporter.
He even got my supporter course, and
said that it helped him immensely to
understand her.
More than that, he said that he has more
confidence in his own ability to take
care of her (and her bipolar disorder) in
the way that he needs to.
I hear the same thing from many supporters
who get my courses:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Bill's mom also read my survivor's course
so she could learn more about her own
disorder.
Not just because I wrote them, but I do
believe that these courses give both the
supporter and their loved one the information
they need to fight this battle together.
Look at it this way -
If you just found out you had a lifetime
illness (which bipolar disorder is), like
diabetes or something like that, you would
want to know everything you could about
it.
I think Bill's mom and the man she's going
to marry are going to get off to a very good
start.
I was also told that they've been "best friends"
for six years already!
Whether you have bipolar disorder or not,
that's the way to go.
Bill also has the disorder, and he and his
wife are best friends as well. He says it helps
get through the rocky times when just plain
love isn't enough.
Now, Bill's wife Betty is a good supporter.
She knew when she married Bill that his
bipolar disorder was a major thing that
they would have to contend with, because
they'd also been friends for many years
before they got married.
Sometimes, as a supporter, if you're
married to someone with the disorder,
you may have to take a step back and be
"friends first."
When things get really difficult, try to
think of your loved one as a friend first,
someone you're trying to help.
It can make things easier.
Sometimes a married couple can get
so caught up in the marriage part that
they forget that they were friends first.
What I'm talking about is a mindset
here.
Try being a friend to your loved one
and to treat them like you would any
other friend.
Just taking that one step back can help
you see things in a different light.
I'm not saying to discount your
feelings or anything.
You can still feel the way you feel.
But by taking the attitude of a
friend, you may be an even more
effective supporter.
It will help you both to stay on the
same team, too.
With the same goal - stability for
your loved one.
Sometimes, as a friend you can be
more patient than otherwise.
Try this approach and see if it makes
a difference in your relationship.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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