Bipolar? To Blame or Not to Blame…
Published: Mon, 08/10/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
Sorry this is late. There was a glitch
in the system.
I hope you're doing fine.
Have you ever known a real
complainer?
The type of person who has
nothing good to say about anyone
or anything?
Who couldn't get along with anyone?
(or at least not for very long,
before they became critical of them).
Who would say things like, "Life
isn't fair."
Or that someone else wasn't fair to
them, or they were in an unfair situation.
Someone who always blamed everyone
else or everything else.
Who had a lot of unsolved problems?
Did it seem to you that they might be
their own biggest problem?
I know someone like that.
My friend's ex-girlfriend.
Now, I'm not a doctor, and I can't
diagnose anyone, but in my opinion,
this girl showed every sign of having
bipolar disorder.
She had terrible mood swings, for
one thing, and that was obvious,
even to someone who didn't know
anything about bipolar disorder.
She called me once to complain
about my friend.
At first she talked like she really
loved him, but the next minute
she was blaming him for all her
problems.
Not just that, but she keeps getting
into trouble in all aspects of her life -
Her family, friends, co-workers, etc. -
she has conflicts with them all.
They think there is something wrong
with her, but she denies it, blaming
everything on them.
But think about it.
Do you think everyone else is wrong
and that she is the only one who is
right?
It usually doesn't work like that.
If that's the case, if everyone else is
saying the same thing, she should
stop and listen to them.
They can't all be wrong.
Maybe they don't know if she has
bipolar disorder or not, but they do
know that something is wrong with
her.
Otherwise she wouldn't have all the
problems that she has.
But she is in denial, for sure.
In my courses/systems, I talk about
denial and what you can do about it:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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You may have faced this with your
loved one, at least in the beginning.
Many people with bipolar disorder
will be in denial when they're first
diagnosed.
They would rather blame someone
or something else.
Like they would say it's just stress
from work that's making them act
this way.
Or, if it weren't for [whoever], I
wouldn't act this way.
That's blaming, and it NEVER helps
someone with bipolar disorder to
get better.
In order to get better, you have to
stop blaming other people and other
things for your own problems.
If you are having conflicts with most
of the other people in your life, you
have to consider that the problem is
YOU, and not them.
You can't change anyone else, but
you can change yourself.
If you or your loved one are already on
medication, but you're still having
too many problems, you may need
a medication adjustment.
If you suspect this is the case, then
you need to contact your doctor.
You may not have even been noticing
these things about yourself, but other
people have been pointing them out
to you.
If so, you probably need help, because
they can't all be wrong and you be right.
Have you noticed the things I've talked
about happening in your own life?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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