Bipolar? Communicating with Your Loved One
Published: Sun, 10/04/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing ok today.
We hear a lot about how important
communication is.
Especially in a relationship, bipolar
or not.
Many supporters of a loved one with
bipolar disorder tell me that it's very
hard to communicate with their loved
one.
Here are some of the complaints I've
heard from other supporters:
1. My loved one sleeps too much
2. My loved one isolates
3. They won't talk about things,
or will only talk about surface
things
4. They watch TV all the time
5. They are "in their own little
world"
6. They are rarely home (and
then only to eat and sleep)
7. They ignore me
8. They don't listen to what
I'm really saying
9. They are self-centered
10. They complain all the time
Now, first of all, how can you
communicate with someone who
sleeps all the time?
Consider that they may have a problem
such as being over-medicated, in
which case you should talk to their
doctor.
But also consider that they may be
sleeping to avoid talking with you
(or anyone else).
Don't take this personally, it could be
part of their bipolar disorder - possibly
even a sign that they are in a depressive
episode.
As far as your loved one isolating (and
therefore not really "there" to even talk
to), isolation is both a trigger to a
bipolar episode and a symptom of one.
So, again, don't take it personally, but
if you think they are in an episode, contact
their doctor.
Hypersomnia (sleeping too much) and
isolation are just two of the symptoms of
a bipolar episode that I go over in my
courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Some supporters tell me that their
loved one just sits around and watches
TV all the time, seeming to shut them out.
Well, some people with bipolar disorder
will do this, if they're trying to escape
their disorder (shut the world out).
The problem with that is not only that they
won't communicate with you, but also that
they won't get any better, because they
need to be productive and do something
other than just sit in front of the TV doing
nothing.
Some supporters complain that their
loved one is rarely home, and even then
only to eat and sleep. They feel slighted,
and their feelings are hurt. But they don't
tell their loved one that they're feeling this
way, so the person has no reason to act
any different.
Even if they are home, they may ignore you,
not listen to what you're really saying, be
self-centered, and complain all the time.
None of these situations lends itself to
good communication.
Some supporters have even told me that
even when their loved one does talk to
them, that it's only about surface things,
and not their thoughts and feelings.
If your loved one is talking to you but
doing it in the form of complaining, or
only surface things, they are not really
communicating.
They are just talking AT you, instead of
WITH you (especially for those who say
their loved one doesn't listen to them).
Your loved one may be so consumed
by their bipolar disorder and the issues
surrounding it that they give no
consideration toward good communication
with you.
You need to sit down together when
your loved one is NOT in an episode,
and communicate your thoughts and feelings
to them.
As long as you do it in a supportive, loving
way, instead of an angry or hostile way (such
as: "You NEVER talk to me!" which will make
them feel defensive), they should be able to
hear what you're saying.
As long as you aren't pushy, they may be
willing to open up to you and trust you enough
to tell you what their thoughts and feelings
really are.
Have you had problems communicating
with your loved one?
How did you solve the problem?
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http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=2211&cpage=1#comment-14220
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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