Bipolar Supporter, Are You Sane or Insane?
Published: Mon, 10/26/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
I hope you're having a great day!
I was thinking about this saying
I've heard before, though I don't
know who originally said it.
It says:
"Insanity is doing the same thing
over and over again expecting
different results."
I want you to think about that.
Because I want you to answer:
Are you sane or insane?
In other words, do you keep
doing the same things over and
over again, thinking that maybe
this time they'll work?
Do you keep making the same
mistakes over and over again?
And each time expect your loved
one to respond differently.
If you are doing that, then
technically you follow the
expression, and you are insane!
The good news is, you can
change things!
If you're doing something for
your loved one and no matter
how many times you've done
it, it hasn't worked, you need
to try something new.
For example, if during their
manic episodes, they blow all
the money in the checking
account...
And each time you "forgive
and forget," you may be enabling
them to keep on with the same
behavior.
On the other hand, what would
happen if you sit them down between
episodes and show them what they
do/have done with the finances...
Then propose something different,
like you having control of the
finances.
What if you showed them the
credit card statement and suggested
that they don't carry credit cards
around with them?
That's doing something different.
I talk about alternative ways to
handle your loved one's behavior
in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Many supporters don't do this
because they are afraid...
Or they don't think they have the
power...
Or they are intimidated by their
loved one and/or their disorder.
Or maybe they haven't even
seen it as a problem...
Or maybe they don't see any
other way to do things.
Well, let me tell you -
There is always another way
to do things.
Have you tried everything
you can?
As a supporter, have you tried
everything you can think of
to help your loved one?
If you really believe you have
done EVERYTHING...
Then your loved one should be
stable.
But if they are still not stable
right now, there are still things
you can do to help them.
What you need to do is take out
a sheet of paper and brainstorm
ideas of how to do things that
aren't working, differently.
Say your loved one is not taking
their medication (which is a very
common problem).
You usually get into a fight over it,
because you want them to take it.
The next time, instead of arguing,
try something different.
For example, you can use the
statistics from the National Institute
on Mental Health to sway them.
Show them an outside opinion
on what happens with people who
have bipolar disorder and go off
their medications.
If you can't find it on the Internet,
I will just tell you:
According to NIMH, 20% (1 in 5)
people with untreated bipolar
disorder will kill themselves.
Maybe your loved one will
respond to that and other statistics
that you can find on the NIMH
website.
Maybe just telling them how
concerned you are about them
and them not taking their
medications will be enough
for them to take it.
But fighting is not the way to
do it, especially if that's the
way you always do it.
You need to break the cycle,
whatever the behavior.
Brainstorm.
Try to come up with new things
to try, or different ways to do the
things you do.
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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