Bipolar? It Helps to Do This More Often
Published: Wed, 11/04/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're having a good day.
I think of myself as a patient
man, but there are still times when
I'm not patient.
Yet I know the more patient I
am, the easier things will be for
me.
Like waiting in lines at the
store check-out.
What good does it do me to be
impatient, when there's nothing
I can do about the situation?
Impatience just leads to (more)
frustration.
Or like if someone cuts me off in
traffic.
It makes me angry, but it still
doesn't change the situation.
Where if I were more accepting
(more patient), I would just think
something like, "Well, that person
is in more of a hurry than I am."
Of course, we can't always be this
rational, though, can we?
Still, developing patience is a
good idea.
The more patient you are, the more
you will be willing to accept
things the way they are instead
of how you would like them to be.
Patience is more than a virtue when
you're dealing with bipolar disorder.
It's a necessity.
In my courses/systems, I talk about
ways to deal with your loved one's
behavior, and patience is definitely
one of those ways.
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If you're caught in traffic, for
example, instead of being impatient
and getting all frustrated, you need
to just accept what is happening,
and use that time to relax or breathe.
Have you ever heard the expression:
"Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's
all small stuff."
Well, Richard Carlson, PhD wrote a
book called that, and offers some
useful advice here.
He suggests having "Patience Practice
Periods."
He says that you should start with a
small amount of time and build up to
a larger amount of time.
He says that you start by telling
yourself:
"Okay, for the next five minutes
I won't allow myself to be bothered
by anything. I'll be patient."
Once you've mastered five minutes,
you can go longer, until you really
do actually become a more patient
person.
Being patient allows you to keep
your perspective, instead of that
perspective being clouded over by
frustration or even anger (at
something you can't change) or
stress.
For example, you might find yourself
frustrated by your loved one's lack
of progress.
First you try the "Practice Patience
Period" that Carlson talked about.
If that doesn't work for a long
enough period, think of it consciously
this way:
"My present challenge is not life or
death. It just is."
You can't change your loved one or
their behavior anyway - only they
can do that.
And if you repeat the above enough
times, you might actually find
yourself accepting the situation
much better, and having less stress
over it.
You can even teach it to your
loved one, which will help them
have less stress in their life,
which will help their bipolar
disorder.
Being more patient can be a
conscious thing to do, if you
practice the suggestions in
this email.
It will also lead to less stress
and complications for you.
Try "Practicing Patient Periods"
for yourself, and let me know
how it works out.
I think it's a great way to become
more patient with your loved one
and their bipolar disorder.
Are you a patient person?
What are some things you do that
help you be patient?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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