Choosing the Wrong Friends During a Bipolar Episode
Published: Sun, 11/08/09
Hi ,
I hope today is going good for
you.
Today's subject is a touchy one,
so I'll just tell you that up front.
It's about how people in a manic
episode tend to choose the wrong
people to surround themselves with
and how it can come back to hurt
them and/or their families.
These new "friends" can be negative
or toxic people, or even worse yet,
they can be people who will take
advantage of your loved one (and
your finances), as some people
do, because when your loved one is
in a manic episode, they will not make
right decisions (especially about
money or business decisions).
Remember before when I've told
you about Michele and how
she taught her children about picking
the right friends by using this
10/2 equation:
If you are a 10 and they are a 2,
and you hang out with them, you
are not going to bring them up to
an 8, they are going to bring you
down to a 4!
So that's what I'm talking about
here.
It's hard for a supporter to watch
their loved one go into a manic
episode to begin with...
Then to see them get all outgoing
and such (whether that is their
normal behavior or behavior
caused by the bipolar disorder)...
And the next thing you know, their
loved one is hanging around with
these new people...
...and the supporter KNOWS that
these people are bad for her loved
one, but he just uses excuses, or
defends his "new friends"...
Because he can't see how they are
bad for him - because he is in an
episode, and is in denial about it.
That can be so frustrating for a
supporter, because her loved one
just won't listen to her, and she
doesn't want to get into a fight
with her loved one, but she also
doesn't know what else to do!
She just has to silently stand by
and watch her loved one be hurt
by these people -
Maybe they are just negative people
and will bring her loved one down,
and that's not as bad as what some
will do -
Some will take advantage of their
"new friend" (the person in the manic
episode) and possibly use them for
their money, etc. But still the one in
the episode will defend them!
In my courses and systems, I teach
not only about how to deal with your
loved one when they are in an episode,
but also what to do when they won't
listen to you:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
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http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It's very difficult in this situation to
get your loved one to listen to you.
For example:
Michele's mom has bipolar disorder,
just like my mom. Michele spent
hours with her mom, working out a
routine for her.
Her mom was doing great on her
routine. Until she met Mary.
Mary became close friends with Michele's
Mom. But she decided that Michele's
Mom didn't need her routine any more,
so guess who Michele's mom listened to?
Well, after awhile, Mary kind of
floated away from Michele's mom,
and Michele's mom went into a
SIX month episode, most likely
caused by the fact that she had no
routine to cling to, like she had
before - she just couldn't get
"back on track."
Do you see the important point
that I'm making here? No one is
saying that people with bipolar
disorder shouldn't have friends.
But only that they should be VERY
particular in who they choose for
friends.
To someone with bipolar disorder
I would say to trust your supporter
in this. If they think that there is
something wrong with your "new"
friends, there probably is. You just
can't see it, because you're in an
episode.
As a supporter, you most likely won't
have to deal with this problem when
your loved one is in a bipolar depressive
episode, as they will probably isolate
more than go out and find "new" friends -
that is more of a manic behavior.
I will tell you this as a p.s. -
Michele's mom sure learned her
lesson about choosing her friends more
carefully. And now she sticks to her
routine, too! Today she is happy and
stable, and is managing her bipolar
disorder very well!
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http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=2300&cpage=1#comment-14735
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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