Bipolar Supporter? Be Careful Not to Do This
Published: Mon, 11/02/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing ok today.
You know, as a child you are completely
dependent on your parents for everything.
They provide for all your needs.
But then you grow up, and you are no
longer dependent on them.
That's what growing up is -
Becoming independent.
But one problem that supporters of loved
ones with bipolar disorder tell me they have
is that their loved one is too dependent on them.
But it may be their own fault, if they are
solving all their loved one's problems for
them, or making things easy on them.
This may even be a sign of codependency,
which is one of the things I talk about in my
courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Having your loved one be too dependent
on you is something you do NOT want.
But here's some surefire ways to make them
dependent on you:
1. Give them their medication
2. Take them to all their doctor,
psychiatrist and therapist visits.
3. Tell them when to go to bed
and when to wake up.
4. Make all their meals and snacks.
5. Make a To-Do List for them and
then help them complete the tasks
or do them yourself.
6. Handle ALL the finances yourself,
without them knowing anything
about them, even when they are
NOT in an episode.
7. Force them to exercise.
8. Drive them everywhere they need
to go, even if it's just to the store.
9. Make excuses for their behavior.
10. Cover up for them.
11. Don't make them take any responsibility
for anything.
12. Do everything for them.
If you do these things, I guarantee
that your loved one will be totally
dependent on you.
And that is something you do
NOT want.
Your loved one needs to take responsibility
for themselves if they are going to
get better.
Stability is not something you can
achieve for them.
As a supporter, you naturally want to
be a good one and to help your loved
one.
But they are not a child, and should not
be totally dependent on you.
They need to do as many things as they
can for themselves.
They need to work toward their own
stability.
If you do all those things I listed, you
will probably experience supporter
burn-out, and then where would your
loved one be?
Where would you be?
Not very healthy yourself.
Take for example, the medication issue.
Even if your loved one complains about
having to take their bipolar medications,
it is still something they should do for
themselves.
You shouldn't be giving them their
medication - that would be doing something
for them that they can do for themselves.
In order to attain stability, your loved one
MUST take responsibility for themselves.
Not just in taking their medication, but in
other areas as well, like I listed before.
You want your loved one to be independent.
That's one of the biggest steps toward
stability for them.
When your loved one is not in an episode,
when they are in a normal period, they
should be totally capable of taking care
of themselves and, therefore, taking their
own responsibility.
They still need you as a supporter, but
they shouldn't be totally dependent
on you.
For example, you can still make a
To-Do List for them, but they should
be the one doing the tasks.
It's part of being productive, which
your loved one needs to be.
I know you care about your loved one,
but you can NOT make them totally
dependent on you - it's not good for
either of you.
Have you noticed ways where your loved
one is still too dependent on you?
Do you agree with me that they should
NOT be?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=2286&cpage=1#comment-14635
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter
Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com