Bipolar? We All Make Mistakes
Published: Mon, 11/09/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
Are you having a good day?
I hope so.
I wanted to share with you an email
I got:
"Dave, I am a supporter to a sister
with bipolar disorder. I try to be a
good supporter, but sometimes I
make mistakes, and I'm afraid that
she'll get worse and it will be my
fault. Like when she gets in a
depression, I try to show my support
by asking her to talk about it, but
then she just gets angry at me. And
when I see her not sleeping good,
I try to tell her that she needs to get
more sleep. So she gets angry at me
for that, too. It seems like whatever
I do, my sister gets angry at me.
Again, like when I remind her to take
her medication she gets mad at me for
that too. I want to be a good supporter,
but with her getting angry, I don't feel
like I am. Am I making mistakes?
What should I do instead? -Monica"
---------------------------------------------------------
Now, my disclaimer. I am not a
professional, so I can only give my
opinion from my experiences and
from all the other supporters who
have talked to me.
First of all, I would remind Monica
(and you) that everyone is different.
What works for one person doesn't
work with another.
What I would commend is that this
woman is at least trying to be a
good supporter.
And I would re-affirm that some
people with bipolar disorder do
get angry, even if they're not in an
episode.
You have to watch it, though,
because increased agitation can be
a symptom of a manic episode.
What happens when you're a
supporter to a loved one with
bipolar disorder is that you have
to "learn them."
And by that I mean that, since
everyone with bipolar disorder is
different, you have to learn how
your loved one reacts to things,
what works and what doesn't
work.
Monica has found out that when
her sister is feeling down , that
she doesn't want to talk.
That's learning.
It's not wrong to try to be a
good supporter.
You know the things that your
loved one should be doing (as
well as the things you should
be doing as their supporter) so
that they can become stable.
These are the things I talk
about in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
We all make mistakes.
That's just a part of life, and a
part of bipolar disorder as well.
But I don't think it's a mistake
to show your concern.
For example, when Monica talks
about reminding her sister to take
her medication.
That's not a mistake, especially
if her sister forgets to take it or
doesn't want to take it.
Medication is crucial to stability.
Her sister might not get well if
she wasn't reminded to take her
medications.
I'm sorry if she gets angry about
it (many people do, because they
resent taking their medication
every day), but it doesn't mean
that it's a mistake.
In fact, I think it would be a
mistake NOT to remind her,
even if she gets angry, because
she needs that medication to
get better, and without it she
would go into an episode.
I think that Monica is doing
a good job as a supporter, even
though her sister gets mad at
her.
What do you think?
Do you think Monica is being
a good supporter?
Have you had to struggle with
your loved one getting angry at
you when you're trying to help?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=2306&cpage=1#comment-14751
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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