Bipolar Supporter? Let Go Of These
Published: Sun, 11/22/09
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I was thinking about today's topic
because I was thinking about how
some people stay sick no matter
how good the medication is.
That's why therapy is so very important
a part of treatment for bipolar disorder,
so your loved one can get things out
in the open, like their thoughts and
feelings - then look at them objectively
and change them if needed, or at least
understand them.
Usually, however, supporters don't have
the same opportunity.
Although getting your own therapist
is something I advise in my courses/
systems as a way for you to deal with
your own problems surrounding your
loved one's bipolar disorder.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.survivebipolar.net
There are TWO things you need to get
rid of:
1. Resentments
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Some people hold resentments inside for
so long that they get ulcers over it.
Others hold resentments against people
and are stressed every time they're around
them, even though the other person has no
idea of the resentment.
Resentments eat you alive from the inside
and can cause physical problems on the
outside.
Like, for example, the ulcers I was just
talking about.
But you can also get headaches (migraines),
body aches, indigestion, anxiety and even
insomnia.
There are two ways to get rid of resentments:
1. Confront the person
2. Let go of the resentment
Like I said earlier, usually the person you
resent has absolutely no idea that you resent
them at all, much less WHY you resent them.
So one way of getting rid of resentments is
to confront the person and get it out in
the open.
The other way is to just simply let go of
the resentment.
This may be a little hard for some people to do.
Especially if they're used to holding onto
resentments for a long period of time.
But if I told you that you could get really,
really sick if you did just one thing,
wouldn't you want to listen and stop
doing that one thing?
Well, I am telling you that you MUST
let go of your resentments.
Resentments are like emotional poison,
toxic to your system.
They can make you sick, both physically
and mentally.
I have a friend who hated her ex-husband
so much that it was eating her up inside -
literally making her sick with stomach
problems.
But there was NO way she was going to
confront him with it.
She knew she had to let the resentment go,
though, but didn't know how.
Her therapist told her to think of just one
instance where her ex-husband had shown
her a kindness.
Then every time she felt resentful, she was
to replace that resentful thought with the
thought of the kindness he had shown her.
Eventually, she was able to let go of her
resentment, and her stomach problems
vanished!
The other thing you need to let go of is
unreasonable expectations.
Maybe you've heard at a support group
meeting that somebody's loved one is doing
really great with their bipolar disorder,
managing it perfectly, and living a normal life.
You may feel a little jealous, thinking why
isn't your loved one that way?
This is an unrealistic expectation.
Recovery from bipolar disorder is a process.
The other person's loved one may just be
further along in the process than your loved
one, that's all.
But you need to be realistic about your
loved one's progress.
Don't compare them to anyone else.
Being realistic means that you expect
that there WILL be set-backs on the
road to recovery.
Being realistic means not expecting your
loved one to be like someone who doesn't
have bipolar disorder.
Being realistic means that you must be
patient in the meantime, as recovery is
a process, and every process takes time.
If you can get rid of your resentments and
your unrealistic expectations, you will feel
so much better!
Have you found yourself holding onto
your resentments?
Do you have unrealistic expectations of
your loved one?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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