Bipolar? Response to 10/2 Equation
Published: Tue, 12/08/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
I hope you're doing ok.
Recently, I wrote a post on the 10/2
Equation and got many varied responses.
Some people thought I was being negative
myself, but I assure you I didn't mean to be.
Some people accused me of being judgmental,
which I definitely didn't mean to be.
When I write these daily emails, they're
not just to inform and teach you, but also
meant to encourage you.
I hope I do that.
Here's a response from Linda to that post:
"I would like to thank you for your deep
reflection on negative versus positive when it
comes to disappointment in our lives. The point
I got from you post is that no matter how much we
may want to help or advise someone who is
focused on the negative and complaining about
everything, it is nearly impossible to do so
because their negativity does not leave any
opening to see the experience in a different
manner.
An example would be to see something we don't
like as something positive (although it can be
difficult) like a learning experience or motivation
to learn more, do more, listen more, be quiet more...
I could go on and on and I'm sure others have
things that could be added.
Almost anything that can be viewed negatively
can also be viewed in a positive way if one
exerts a little more effort. I say this because
I have found that being negative is so much
easier...one does not have to be as creative
but it well worth the time and effort put forth.
The most important thing in all this (and is
what I heard you saying) is that being positive
and putting forth more effort is the way things
get solved or if not solved entirely they can be
made easier to cope with."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Linda expresses exactly what I was trying to
get across.
Anyone can be negative, especially when faced
with something as negative as bipolar disorder.
It's that much more difficult to be positive in
the face of that.
My biggest concern for you as a supporter is
that negativity can bring you down.
And that won't do any good for your loved one
or for you.
She said, "Almost anything that can be viewed
negatively can also be viewed in a positive way
if one exerts a little more effort."
I totally agree with that.
Many people are so negative that it colors the
way they see everything.
Now, I'm not saying everyone, but some people
use it as an excuse for not trying harder.
In my courses and systems, I teach that having
a positive attitude is just as important as medication
and the other parts of treatment.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But for the supporter, having a positive
attitude can make a very big difference.
We fight a lot of stigma coming from the
outside world just having a loved one with
bipolar disorder.
A negative attitude will just make it that
much worse, and can really get you down.
I'm not saying that everything is a breeze
when you're a supporter of a loved one with
bipolar disorder, because I know it isn't.
And I'm also not saying that being positive
is going to solve all your problems - just that
it can make it easier to see the solution.
And sometimes it does all get to you, and
you can't be positive.
So I'm not saying you have to be positive
all the time, in spite of the bipolar disorder -
just that the more positive you can be, the
easier it will be on you, as well as on your
loved one.
I know you're experiencing other feelings
too (some pretty negative ones), and that's
ok. You still have to be realistic.
Linda also said: "The point I got from you
post is that no matter how much we
may want to help or advise someone who is
focused on the negative and complaining about
everything, it is nearly impossible to do so
because their negativity does not leave any
opening to see the experience in a different
manner."
You or your loved one can get too focused
on the negative, and unable to see stability
as something positive in their future, because
as Linda said, "their negativity does not leave
any opening to see the experience in a different
manner."
I know it may not seem fair that you be the
positive one, but even if your loved one isn't,
you, at least, can see the experience in a
different manner.
The more positive you are, especially in light
of disappointments (which are unavoidable),
the better you will be able to handle things.
Do you agree or disagree?
Have you found it easy or difficult to be
positive in light of negative circumstances?
Or do you see it as a necessity?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=2417&cpage=1#comment-16257
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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