Bipolar Supporter? A Bandaid Can't Fix This
Published: Tue, 01/12/10
Hi ,
How are you doing today?
I hope this is a good day for
you.
I got a post on my blog from
someone who is struggling, a
supporter, and I wanted to share
it with you to get your feedback:
She says:
"I am sure there are others with the
same situation as me, but, mine feels
a bit unique. It's a long story, but,
my daughter, who is 26 does not live
with me. She has been diagnosed
with bipolar disorder, and has chosen
to take out all of her anger on myself
and her 22 yr. old sister. I have no
way of supporting her, as she will
not take my calls, or respond to text
messages or e-mails. I have no way
of knowing if she is taking her medication.
I worry about her daily, and there is a
hole in my heart where the loving, caring
daughter I knew use to be. I built my
world around her and her sister, and this
hurts more than I ever thought anything
could."
--------------------------------------------------------
Now, I'm not a therapist or anything,
so I can't advise this person about
their situation. But I can give my
opinion about it, based on past posts
I've gotten from other supporters and
what I've experienced myself with
my mother.
And the main thing is that, although
she feels as if her situation is
unique, it really isn't.
I've gotten lots of calls, emails,
and post comments saying the
same thing - that the supporter
is worried about their loved one
and that they are being hurt by
them (or their behavior, specifically)
and their anger.
You can't just put a bandaid
on the hurt that your loved one
can cause you because of their
bipolar disorder.
Unfortunately, it's much more
serious than that.
Because you can feel the pain
so acutely sometimes, and it's
hard to take.
Especially, like in this person's
case, where her daughter does
not live with her, and she can't
tell whether she is even taking
her medication or not.
She has reason to worry, as without
medication, her daughter could be
in serious trouble.
I know that can be very frustrating,
as well...the not knowing.
It's a helpless feeling.
It's hard when you can't do anything
to help or support your loved one.
Because, like I say in my courses/
systems for supporters, you just
can't help someone who doesn't
want your help.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Still, because you love and care
about your loved one, you worry.
And that's just natural.
So is the anger.
Many people with bipolar disorder,
in a manic episode, will be angry or
even rage at those close to them.
It sounds simplistic, but it's not
really them - it's the manic emotions
and shifting to mood extremes that
makes them that way.
You may or may not even do anything
wrong, and they can still get angry.
Anger is one of the hardest things
to deal with when you're trying to
deal with a loved one with bipolar
disorder.
The only things you can really do
are to love them unconditionally
and brace yourself against their
anger.
You have to remember not to take
it personally - they could be mad
at something that has absolutely
nothing to do with you.
Still, it's hard to take when someone
is raging at you or blaming you and
it comes out as anger.
And sometimes you can feel pretty
helpless as a supporter.
But I tell this woman, like I tell you,
don't give up on your loved one.
With time and treatment, your
loved one will learn how to manage
their anger.
The more stable they are, the
less angry they will be.
Does your loved one rage at
you?
How do you deal with it?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL BELOW
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/bipolar-supporter-a-bandaid-cant-fix-this/comment-page-1/#comment-17023
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter
Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don't forget to take a look through the
different programs I've put together... each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can't learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com