Dealing with Bipolar? Never ever do this
Published: Wed, 02/03/10
Hi ,
How are you?
I hope you're feeling fine.
I have to share this email
with you, because it concerns
me:
"Dear Dave,
Things are really bad for us
right now. My husband lost his
job, and hasn't been able to find
another one. They are getting
ready to foreclose on our house.
Because of things he has done
in his bipolar episodes, our boys
aren't even talking to him. And
I get so frustrated day after day
working hard and coming home
to find out that all he did was sleep
all day. The house isn't clean,
there is nothing for supper, and
he hasn't even taken a shower.
This has to be because of his
bipolar disorder, right? Because
he never was a lazy person
before. Well, at least not before
he lost his job. He's getting so
discouraged that he hasn't been
able to find another one, and I
feel guilty that I'm working and
he isn't.
He misses appointments with his
doctors and therapist because he
says we don't have the money for
it, but I think that is just making
him worse. I have to believe him
when he says he is still taking his
medications, but I'm not sure because
I don't watch him take them.
And things between us aren't good
at all either. He just won't talk to me.
And I have a hard time talking to him
because I don't want to say anything
to upset him. So we really don't have
any communication any more.
I know you've probably heard all this
before, like I did at support meetings,
but I never thought it would happen
to me and my husband.
I'm about ready to give up.
Any suggestions?
Keep up the good work,
Sarah"
------------------------------------------------------------
What an email.
But she's right about one thing -
this doesn't surprise me, because
I do get a lot of emails from
supporters struggling through
the things that Sarah is going
through right now.
I'm not a lawyer or realtor, so I
can't comment on her losing her
house.
I'm not a therapist or counselor,
either, so I can only give my
opinion based on what she said
in her email.
I'm not a magician either, though,
so I don't have a magic word to
give her to make everything ok
for them.
A lot of people come to me and
want me to solve their problems for
them.
Some even get mad when I tell
them that I don't have any pat answers
that will change things.
However, when I can, I try to help
people by giving practical advice,
because that's the only advice that
can really help them.
Then it's up to them whether they
follow it.
Like in my courses/systems, I only
offer advice, and not solve problems.
However, I do go over how to solve
your own problems related to bipolar
and issues surrounding it.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You can tell how stressed this
woman is, and I can understand
that.
To her, she is doing all the work
and her husband isn't doing anything
to contribute.
But there are practical ways to
fix that, like making him a To-Do
List.
The biggest point, first of all,
is that it sounds like her husband
is in a bipolar depressive episode.
The fact that he isn't doing anything
with his time...
The fact that he is isolating...
The fact that he is sleeping all the
time...
The fact that he has stopped
communicating with his supporter...
These are all signs of a bipolar
depressive episode.
In my opinion, the best thing for her
to do is get her husband to seek help,
however she has to do it.
But she also has to NOT give up!
That's one thing I always tell people:
NEVER give up!
The next day might be the day that her
husband comes out of the episode.
Have you been in this situation?
Can you relate to Sarah and to what
she wrote?
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http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/dealing-with-bipolar-never-ever-do-this/comment-page-1/#comment-17379
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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