Bipolar Supporter? Here’s a Tip for Your Conversations
Published: Wed, 03/17/10
Hi ,
How's your day going?
I hope it is a good one.
I had a friend once that told me that he was
trying to have a conversation with his son,
but he was having difficulty.
You see, his son was too busy eating ice
cream, watching television, and practicing
his silly faces - all at once!
As I'm sure you can imagine, this
conversation wasn't going anywhere!
Well, I happen to know that this particular
kid spends most of his time walking around
bored and looking for something to do.
So I had to ask him why on earth he tried
to have a conversation with him at the
time that he was hyper?
Doesn't this seem a little silly to you? LOL.
It got me thinking, how often do we do the
same thing with our loved ones?
Now, it may not be as obvious that our
loved one is "hyper" (or maybe it is), but
there are still significant differences
between when they are paying attention
and when they aren't.
Let's face it, there are some times when
no matter how hard you try, they are just
not going to listen to you.
This isn't your fault, and it's not really
theirs, either.
But it is still something that we should pay
attention to.
After all, there is no point in starting an
important conversation at a time like that.
Sometimes we get lucky, and our loved
one is only like that for a little while.
When that is the case, it is easy enough to
just wait to have the important
conversation until after they are done with
their distracted period.
Other times, it isn't that easy.
There are also different levels of things
that can keep them distracted, ranging
from the simple to the annoyingly difficult
to handle.
For example, your loved one might just be
distracted by the television, the same way
that anyone else gets distracted by it.
On the other hand, your loved one might
be distracted because they are in a manic
state, and nothing you can do will convince
them to pay attention to you.
Obviously this is a very different situation
to try to deal with.
If you need to, you can have a conversation
with a person who is distracted by the
television.
But it is not so easy to have a conversation
with someone who is distracted by a
severe state of mania.
So the first thing I would encourage you to
do is to figure out why they are distracted,
and decide whether the distraction can be
overcome or not.
If the distraction can be easily overcome,
then proceed with the talk you wanted to
have with them.
If the distraction is something that you
could not overcome easily, such as in the
case of mania, then a different approach is
needed.
In this case, you might weigh out whether
it is likely for the period of distractibility
to end soon, or whether you think it will
last a while.
If you think it will pass, it is probably better
to wait until it does, especially if the
conversation can wait that long.
If you think it will take some time, and the
conversation cannot wait that long, then
there are some other tricks you can use to
get through the talk with as much ease as
possible.
To begin with, think about what you want
to say.
In fact, think about it long and hard.
What is the simplest way to say it?
What is the simplest way to get the results
you are looking for?
The simpler you can keep the conversation,
the more you will be able to get
accomplished by it - even in the state that
they are in now.
After all, when you are distracted, wouldn't
you like it if people who had to ask you
questions kept it simple?
It's a general courtesy for the other person,
and it helps you to stay productive in what
you are doing.
Hopefully it will even prevent fights and
misunderstandings.
Remembering that mania can be distracting
is essential if you are going to talk to your
loved one while they are manic.
After all, wouldn't you want them to do the
same for you if the situation were reversed?
What do you think?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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