Bipolar? Revealed-What is Blaming Thinking Is
Published: Wed, 04/07/10
Hi ,
How are you?
I hope you're fine.
I have a funny true story to
tell you:
A friend of mine was in a fender
bender (small accident).
This other man hit her car on a
back road because he came around
the corner too fast and she was just
turning onto the street, so he tried
to pass her, and ended up hitting her
front end.
Right away he got out of his car
complaining about his back, and
blaming the accident on my friend.
He was so vocal about his "hurt
back," that he even told the
witnesses and the police about
it.
But here's where he made his
mistake and what makes this
story so funny:
My friend told him she thought
her car was leaking transmission
fluid.
So he said, "Hang on, let me take
a look."
And he easily bent under her car
to see if there was damage.
Can you imagine how embarrassed
he was when he straightened up and
saw that everyone was staring at him
with a "Sure, you've got a bad back"
look?
He did try to sue my friend for his
back anyway, but she came to find
out that he was suing someone else for
the same thing at the same time!
See, our society has gotten lazy.
Many people just go straight to a
lawsuit against someone (or some
company) instead of taking some
responsibility themselves.
In my courses/systems, I talk about
how with bipolar disorder, both you
and your loved one need to take
responsibility for your behavior.
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Blaming thinking is what has
gotten our society to the place
where attorneys who specialize
in personal injury lawsuits make
quite a lot of money, with no lack
of clients.
Yes, being responsible is harder
than being lazy, but you still need
to do it.
Blaming thinking is like these
types of thoughts:
Something is missing, so someone
else must have moved it (instead of
taking responsibility that you may just
have misplaced it).
The car isn't working right, so
the mechanic must not have fixed
it properly (instead of thinking that
maybe something else is broken
and needs to be fixed).
Your expenses are more than your
income, so your loved one must be
spending too much money (instead
of taking responsibility for your part
in the excessive spending).
The house is a mess, so your loved
one is not doing their part (instead
of accepting just as much responsibility
as them for keeping the house clean).
A project at work is late, so your
co-workers must not have done their
part (instead of accepting responsibility
for your part of the project).
It's easier to blame someone else than
it is to accept your own responsibility.
That's why we have a society full
of blamers.
Blaming thinking can be very hard on
you if you're trying to deal with
bipolar disorder.
Especially because it's very easy to
fall into the habit of blaming every
problem on the bipolar disorder
itself.
If your loved one is doing this, it can
prolong their recovery.
They must take responsibility for
their bipolar behavior and its
consequences if they're going to
get better.
I'm not saying that everyone is
this way, but I think many of us,
if the truth be told, do it at some
point.
What about you?
Do you experience blaming
thinking?
How do you deal with it?
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Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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