Bipolar Disorder? What Message Would YOU Write?
Published: Tue, 06/24/08
Hi ,
How's it going?
Hope you are doing well.
I have a super busy today planned today.
I have to make this kind of quick. I don't
have much time to write before I take
off for the gym.
I wanted to ask you a question.
Have you ever watched that movie
"Message in a Bottle?" The title is
based on the old stories of people
who supposedly wrote messages
on a piece of paper, put them in
bottles, then threw them into the
ocean, to wash up onto the shore
years later for someone to find
and read.
Well, I was thinking about that
movie, and it made me wonder
about what I would write on my
piece of paper. I mean, it really
makes you wonder, to go through
this whole encyclopedia of thoughts
you have, trying to narrow them
down to just one single thought that
would be the most important thing
you would want someone to know
who would find the message in the
bottle someday.
One man was asked about it, and
he said, "I would tell them to have
fun, because I don't think people
do that enough in their lives, and
by the time they realize that, it's
too late." He said he thought people
just take life too seriously.
Another person said what they would
write would be, "Give yourself
permission to dream."
Yet another, "Experience is what you
get when you don't get what you wanted.
And it can be the most valuable thing
you have to offer."
It sounds like fortune cookies,
doesn't it?
Think about it - what would YOU
put on your message in a bottle?
Even with bipolar disorder staring
you in the face, think about all the
different things you could say on
your little piece of paper - what
one important thought would you
want to pass on to someone who
would find your message?
It kind of puts things in perspective,
making the bipolar disorder not seem
as big a problem (now, I'm not
making light of bipolar disorder,
so don't send me any hate mail!).
The thing is, we all have something
to pass on. You may have bipolar
disorder, or are a supporter of a loved
one who has it, but that doesn't mean
your life stops there. You are a person
totally outside of the disorder. And
you have a whole lot to give to the
world outside of the disorder. At
least you should.
If your life is totally about the
disorder, that is wrong.
That's why I teach in my courses/
systems that supporters should have
outside activities as well as being
a supporter to a loved one with
bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You should have something of a
social life. You should have
friends and family outside of your
bipolar support group. You should
have outside interests besides
bipolar disorder.
Your loved one should not be
isolating (that's a trigger to a bipolar
episode). They should not be
sleeping most of the day away
(another trigger to a bipolar episode).
If they're following a good treatment
plan, then you should be living a
relatively normal life, not looking
for an episode around every corner,
staying at home all the time because
you're afraid to make plans because
they "might" have an episode.
Come out of the dark - there's a
whole world out there for you to
experience!
And you should have friends outside
of your loved one. You have to have
some outside activities that do not
include your loved one. Hobbies,
support group, outside interests -
even if you only go by yourself to
the movies once in awhile, or
shopping... if you don't, if all you
do is be a caregiver to your loved
one 24/7, you will burn out.
You can't be a good supporter if you
don't take care of yourself first - if
you don't meet your own needs.
And some of those needs are to spend
some time away from your loved one.
In thinking about what you would
put on that message in the bottle,
think about the things that are
really important to you.
I know being a supporter is
important to you, and takes up a
lot of your time. But some
supporters just kind of fell into
the role, because there wasn't
anyone else to do it, and they might
even resent that - so it isn't a very
positive thing for them. Not that it's
any less important, but they might
not feel appreciated. That's why
outside activities are that much more
important - they need to get their
self-esteem elsewhere.
What you do and who you are go
into what matters to you most.
Those are the things that will help
you determine what you would
put on your message in the bottle.
So who are you? Have you thought
about that lately? I mean, who are
you besides just a supporter of a loved
one with bipolar disorder?
You must have your own likes and
dislikes, your own interests, your
own talents and gifts... are you
doing/using them? Or have you
forsaken them for your loved one?
Have you stopped playing the piano?
Have you stopped reading, writing,
keeping a garden, practicing yoga,
going to church, going to the gym,
meeting girlfriends for lunch?
You need to do those things that
made you happy, those things that
made you who you are.
You cannot let bipolar disorder
determine who you are. Just
because you do those things
does NOT make you a bad
supporter! In fact, it works just
the opposite - the better you feel
about yourself, the better a
supporter you will be.
So, what would YOU write on
your message in a bottle?
PLEASE POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/?p=48#comment-548
Your Friend,
Dave
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