The Leverage Team, LLC

Current Borderline Personality Disorder News

2011-03-17T23:48:06-04:00

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi ,

Here is the link to the current borderline personality
disorder news:

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinenews161

[Former Street Preacher] has Personality Disorder,
NOT Mental Illness, Psychiatrist Testifies
DO> Wow what do you think of this? Believe it?

Narcissistic Disorder to Be Eliminated in Diagnostic Manual
DO> Very interesting article, take a look.

Here Are My Resources For Borderline Personality Disorder:

Quickly And Easily Explain Borderline Personality Disorder To People
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Need Affordable Health Insurance For Borderline Personality
Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/insuranceguide/

Need Money Because Of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinebusiness/

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Borderline Personality Disorder News

2011-03-11T13:09:57-05:00

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi ,

Here is the link to the current borderline personality
disorder news:

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinenews160

Group sues over personality disorder discharges - Army News
| News from Afghanistan & Iraq - Army Times
DO> Wow what do you think about this?

It's All About Me: But Is Narcissism A Disorder?
DO> Do you know of this disorder?

Film Review: 'Frankie and Alice'
DO> What do you think of this?

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinenews160

Here Are My Resources For Borderline Personality Disorder:

Quickly And Easily Explain Borderline Personality Disorder To People
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Need Affordable Health Insurance For Borderline Personality
Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/insuranceguide/

Need Money Because Of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinebusiness/

Your Friend,

Dave

Current Borderline Personality Disorder News

2011-03-04T06:40:52-05:00

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi ,

Here is the link to the current borderline personality
disorder news:

http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinenews159

Can Epidemiology Translate Into Understanding Major
Depression With Borderline ...

Forum to examine mental health myths

Speaker offers hope, insight on Borderline
Personality Disorder

Here Are My Resources For Borderline Personality Disorder:

Quickly And Easily Explain Borderline Personality Disorder To People
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Need Affordable Health Insurance For Borderline Personality
Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/insuranceguide/

Need Money Because Of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Visit: http://www.borderlinecentral.com/borderlinebusiness/

Your Friend,

Dave

Borderline: No More Walking Around On This

2011-01-10T16:16:10-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi ,

How's it going for you today?

I hope you're having a good day.

I know there's a very popular book on
borderline personality disorder called
"Stop Walking on Eggshells" that a lot of
people have read.

Today I want to talk about that.

You know, it's true, whether you're
talking about borderline personality
disorder, bipolar disorder, or just mental
illness in general - you don't have to walk
around on eggshells all the time, afraid.

That is...

IF you do certain things.

IF you watch your loved one's signs/symptoms
and watch for patterns of flare-ups, and
catch them before they get out of hand.

IF your loved one is actively working on
managing their borderline personality disorder.

IF your loved one is following a good, solid
treatment plan.

IF both you and your loved one have a good
strong support system.

IF your loved one is taking good care of
themselves in ALL areas:

That means taking their medication, following
a healthy diet and exercise regimen, getting
the right amount of good sleep, and seeing
their psychiatrist and therapist on a regular
basis.

IF you are taking care of yourself as well,
taking your own medication if you have it,
using your support system, eating and sleeping
right, and exercising (even if it's just walking).

It also means that you keep yourself well-
balanced - emotionally, mentally, physically,
and spiritually.

Both you and your loved one have to stay as
stress-free as possible as well.

I go over all this in detail in my main
course and resource below:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

But let me tell you one thing -

It's about one of the people that work
for me - she doesn't just have bipolar
disorder, she also has borderline personality
disorder.

And she went to this class on Dialectical Behavioral
Therapy (DBT).

In DBT, as you may know, you learn in what
are called modules about things like core mindfulness,
interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation skills,
and distress toleration skills.

But this woman who works for me told me that none
of this helped her or her supporter to be able to stop
walking around on eggshells until she (he) started to
do the things I talked about before, and one more thing:

Until she CHANGED HER ATTITUDE!

So that's the other thing you have to do.

IF you change your attitude, and stop thinking
things like, "I'll ALWAYS be this way...I'll NEVER
get better..."

...you'll always be walking on eggshells.

You'll always carry around that fear with you.

Fear doesn't go away until you do something
proactive to get rid of it.

All those things I talked about earlier are proactive
things that you can do.

They are all things that you can do yourself to
take care of yourself.

In other words, they aren't things that come in
a pill...

Or things that a doctor would prescribe.

The greatest part of getting better from borderline
personality disorder has to come from your own
effort (your loved one's effort).

They are the one who has to do the changing
involved.

And the biggest part, like the woman who works
for me found out, is that you have to be willing
to change in order to get better.

DBT is a wonderful therapy, but it can only
work if you are willing to change.

And if you are willing to work hard to do the
work necessary to learn the skills you need to
learn to get better from borderline personality
disorder.

But if, on the other hand, your loved one is
willing to do what they need to do, and if
they are willing to change, go through the
therapy, etc., then you wouldn't have to be
afraid of them or their borderline behavior
any more - you wouldn't have to be walking
around on eggshells any more.

You would have to be aware that there
would be some changes, however.

Your loved one would be making changes
in themselves and their behavior.

Although these would (hopefully) be good
changes, they would still be new to you, so
you would need to be ready for them, and
be willing to adapt to them.

There will be a period of time when things
may be disrupted, as they (and you) get
used to these changes.

It may not be so easy.

They have been doing things the same way
for a very long time.

Now they are going to do things differently,
and like I said, some of it is going to be very
hard for them, some of it they may not like.

So there may still be some acting out behavior.

But it will be worth it in the end as you see
them get better and better.

What about you?

Are you willing to do some changing in order
for your loved one to change to get better?

Have you seen some changes in them as they
try to get better? What have they done?

Your Friend,

Dave

===>> Great Resources For You <===

Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3

Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Borderline – When You Get Frustrated, Do This

2011-01-04T16:44:43-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi ,

How are you doing?

I hope you're doing well.

You know, I know how it feels to be
frustrated.

I used to get frustrated all the time, just
watching my mom get worse and worse instead
of better, and thinking that I couldn't do anything
about it.

I think that I was the most frustrated when I knew
how bad she really was, but she thought she was fine
(even though she wasn't).

Then I really didn't know what to do, because how
do you get someone to seek help when they think
they're ok?

In other words, how do you help someone who
doesn't want to be helped?

That's what I want to talk about today.

What to do when you get frustrated.

You need to:

THINK FORWARD.

You need to think about the future.

And you need to think about it in an optimistic
way.

You need to think about it in a positive way.

Like with my mom.

She felt fine.

She didn't think there was anything wrong
with her.

But I knew there was, and that's why I was
so frustrated!

I was the one experiencing the wrath of "the
storm."

I was the one getting yelled at all the time, not
her.

I know you know what that's like.

I talk about that anger and its expression (yelling
and screaming, rage, etc.) in my main course
and resource below:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

But this is how I finally got to stop being so
frustrated, even before my mom got the help
she needed:

I started to:

THINK FORWARD.

I started to picture her in my mind as being
better.

As being the mom I knew she could be.

As being the mom I wanted her to be.

I mean, right or wrong, maybe I was wrong,
maybe it's wrong to want someone to be who
they aren't at the time...

But it worked for me!

I stopped being so frustrated.

See the answer is...

That I could stop being so frustrated because
once I started to picture her being well...

I could start accepting her as being sick (but just
for now).

Is that crazy? (you know what I mean)

But I'm telling you, it works!

Here you are living with a loved one with borderline
personality disorder.

And I know you're not happy.

In fact, life is real tough sometimes.

You would love it if they weren't so unpredictable.

You never know what mood they're going to be in.

How sometimes they act like they love you...

And the next minute you're their worst enemy.

And you never know what you did (or didn't do)!

I know how you feel.

I really do.

I have heard so many people tell me the same thing.

About the impulsive behavior.

And how you never know what consequences
there are going to be.

So you worry about your loved one...

And their risk-taking behaviors...

And their impulsivity...

Because you never know which "person" you are
going to be living with from day to day or what they
are going to do.

I know. It's frustrating.

That's why the best thing for you to do is to...

THINK FORWARD.

Picture your loved one healthy, and not the
way they are now.

Picture the way they will be when they are in
treatment.

Picture them the way they will be someday.

The loved one you want them to be.

The loved one you know they can be.

The loved one they WILL be.

What do you think of the idea of

THINKING FORWARD?

Do you think it could work for you?

Do you think it could help you to change
your perspective on how you look at your
loved one?

Your Friend,

Dave

===>> Great Resources For You <===

Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3

Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Borderline: After Thanksgiving

2010-12-05T01:19:04-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi ,

How's it going for you today?

I hope things are going well.

You know, many people are grateful
around Thanksgiving.

In fact, many people go around the table
at Thanksgiving dinner telling what they
are thankful for.

One person might be thankful for their
friends and family.

One person might be thankful for their
health.

One person might be thankful that they're
getting good grades in school.

One person might be grateful that their
car is running good this year.

One person might be thankful for a happy
marriage.

One person might be thankful that they
have a roof over their heads.

And on and on...

While someone with borderline personality
disorder might simply be thankful that
they're stable at the time.

In my main course and resource below, I
talk about being grateful for stability:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Especially when stability does not come
easily.

Some people really have to work at it to become
stable with their borderline personality disorder.

And some supporters have to work really hard at
being good supporters.

For some it's easy, but for others it's harder.

Especially when the person who is so thankful at
Thanksgiving stops being so thankful after the
holiday is over...

And goes back to being their old self.

And not their good self, either!

You may have really enjoyed your loved one's
"holiday self," being on their best behavior...

Being nice to you and everyone else...

No starting any fights...

No acting out behavior...

No name calling...

No accusing...

No humiliating...

No ignoring...

No yelling...

No raging...

No clinging...

No pushing you away...

Or any of the other borderline behaviors
that they sometimes exhibit.

What a wonderful break at Thanksgiving!

But what a letdown after Thanksgiving when
they start up all that behavior all over again.

Like a balloon that gets a hole popped into it.

And all that air comes rushing out.

That's like your loved one, who has been trying
to be so good through the Thanksgiving holiday,
but now the stress all comes rushing out and they
start all their acting out behavior again.

And who gets the brunt of it?

You do.

You are their supporter, and the person closest
to them.

So you get the worst of it.

Most of their worst behavior is directed toward you.

Then the stress falls on you.

First of all, you're disappointed, because they were
acting so good for the holiday...

... and now this.

Then the stress descends on you.

You're walking around on eggshells again...

Trying not to do or say anything wrong to set off
your loved one and their acting out behavior and
rages.

But you're trying to deal with your own feelings
at the same time.

And right now, those feelings are pretty negative
ones.

You probably resent your loved one for this
change in them.

You might even be angry at them for how they're
treating you.

You could even feel that your situation is hopeless
or that your loved one is hopeless, that they'll never
change.

You probably feel disappointed that things aren't
staying as good as they were at Thanksgiving.

You might even feel betrayed by your loved one,
feeling as if they have let you down.

You might be depressed now, feeling sad that your
loved one is acting like their old negative self, acting
out on old behaviors.

But it is normal to feel these feelings.

Many supporters feel these types of feelings after
the Thanksgiving holiday when things go back to
"normal."

What are your thoughts?

Your Friend,

Dave

===>> Great Resources For You <===

Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3

Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Borderline Compassion Not Enough?

2010-11-28T18:40:56-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi ,

How are you doing today?

I hope you're doing well.

Let me ask you something:

When is it too much?

I mean, when is your compassion
actually harmful to the relationship
between you and your loved one?

In other words, do you sometimes
feel that you're giving more than
your loved one is?

Do you sometimes feel that it
isn't fair?

That's how Jim felt when he talked
to me at the gym one day about his
wife, Doreen.

He said that he loved his wife, but
that she was very demanding, and
that sometimes he just felt like no
matter how much he gave, or how
much he tried to show her he loved
her, it just wasn't enough.

Jim was really frustrated, and told
me so. He said that he had tried
everything to get Doreen to feel
loved, to make her happy, but she
just seemed so unhappy all the time.

Like nothing was good enough for
her. She would pick on him, sometimes
even calling him names! She would
start fights over nothing, or out of
nowhere, and Jim just didn't get it.

He would try not to fight back, but
sometimes he just couldn't hold his
temper, and then they would fight
for hours! He said it was awful.

Things were so strained at times
that they would just stop talking to
each other for days!

He was at the point that he just
didn't know what to do any more,
and he was asking me for advice.

To be honest with you, I didn't
know what to tell him at first.

In my main course and resource,
I talk about the signs and symptoms
of borderline personality disorder,
and some ways of coping and
dealing with it:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

So that's what I tried to do with
Jim.

I gave him an overview of the
basics of borderline personality
disorder, telling him that many
people with the disorder struggle
with self-esteem and ego issues.

Meaning that no matter how much
love you show them, they have no
self-love - they believe that there
is nothing about themselves to love,
which makes it hard when you are
doing everything you know of to
show them how much you love
them, and they don't return those
feelings.

It's just part of the disorder, I
explained to Jim.

This was hard for him to understand,
because he thought that if Doreen
really loved him like he loved her,
that she should be able to show him
like he was showing her.

This is hard for many supporters to
understand as well, but, like I said,
it is just part of the borderline
personality disorder.

Another thing about it is that they
have a tendency to see things as all
good or all bad, as black and white
with no gray areas.

So they may see themselves as all
bad, and nothing you can say or do
can change that.

It may take a great deal of extensive
long-term therapy to get them to see
themselves as worthy of being loved
sometimes.

That's one of the reasons that people
with borderline personality disorder
have such a hard time developing and
maintaining interpersonal relationships.

It's really hard to show love for someone
else when you can't show love for
yourself, or even consider yourself
worthy of being loved.

This goes all the way back to their
childhood for most people with
borderline personality disorder.

It's easily understood why Jim is so
frustrated.

He is giving so much to Doreen and
not getting what he feels he needs in
return.

That happens a lot in borderline
relationships.

Sometimes it can really seem unfair
to the supporter.

You give and you give, but you don't
get what you need in return.

Or worse yet, you get negative things
in return, like the fighting that Jim
described to me.

Fighting is common in borderline
relationships.

The problem with self-esteem that I
was just talking about can spill over
into accusations.

For instance, Jim told me that one
time, he was late coming home from
the office because there had been an
accident on the interstate, and Doreen
accused him of having an affair with
one of his coworkers!

Jim denied it of course, but Doreen
sulked about it for days, and no matter
how much love Jim showed her, she
refused to accept it or his denials of an
affair.

Can you relate to Jim's situation?

What are your thoughts on this?

Your Friend,

Dave

===>> Great Resources For You <===

Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3

Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Have this problem with Borderline Personality?

2010-11-21T23:48:26-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi ,

How's it going today?

I hope you're having a good
day.

There was a time when Brian wondered
if he ever would have a good day again.

Brian's live-in girlfriend, Joan, had
borderline personality disorder.

She really tried his patience. By the
time he came to me, he was ready to
kick her out. He felt under so much
pressure because he loved her and
didn't want to kick her out, but he just
couldn't tolerate her behavior any more,
and he was just so confused.

He said that sometimes she would act
like he was the greatest thing in the
world to her, while at other times, she
would push him away and not want
anything to do with him at all.

This would really confuse him, because
he wouldn't know what he did (or didn't
do) to cause Joan to act like that.

The worse thing was, she wouldn't talk
to him about it, so he didn't know. He
hated this breakdown in communication
worst of all.

Sometimes she would just completely
ignore him, as if he wasn't even in the
room at all, and this would really confuse
him even more.

He was at the point that he just couldn't
stand it any more. He had asked Joan
many times to explain herself, to no
avail. He told me he was "over it," and
ready to kick her out, rather than to go
through one more day of being ignored
or treated this way.

I tried to explain to him the phenomenon
of "push/pull" so characteristic of borderline
personality disorder, but he was having a
hard time relating to it.

Although he understood the concept, he
thought that if Joan really loved him, she
could stop doing that.

In my main course and resource, I explain
that some things are part of the disorder
itself and beyond the person's control, but
still it is hard for the supporter to take or
to understand, as in Brian's case, sometimes.

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

I didn't see Brian for quite a while
after that, and when I did see him,
I asked him what had happened.

He told me that he gave Joan an
ultimatum -

He told her that she either stop the
behavior or she would have to leave.

Needless to say, a few weeks later,
Brian kicked Joan out of the apartment
and broke up with her.

It made me sad to hear that, but I
understood how it could happen.

Such a deep-seated phenomenon as the
push-pull of borderline personality disorder
cannot be changed overnight, or even over
a matter of weeks.

It takes long-term extensive therapy to
cope and deal with the issues behind this
phenomenon.

Now, I'm not saying that Joan was not
responsible for her behavior, as we all are
responsible for our behavior, but at least
part of it stemmed from her borderline
personality disorder, and she should have
been working on it in therapy.

Without it, there was reason for Brian to
break up with her, as she would not change
her behavior (could not change it).

Maybe with more and better communication
Brian and Joan might have had a chance,
as some other couples have been able to
make it work even when one of them has
borderline personality disorder.

But they really have to work at it, and the
communication skills have to be strong and
the lines of communication have to be open,
and both willing to be open and honest in
talking with each other.

It takes a great deal of understanding, as you
know, on the part of the supporter, to "get"
the sometimes confusing behavior of a person
with borderline personality disorder.

One of the basic characteristics that makes
them so confusing is their fear of abandonment.

Yet they then manifest behavior that makes
you want to abandon them!

They cling to you one minute, then push you
away the very next minute!

If this isn't confusing, I don't know what
is!

Without therapy, their own behavior is
often confusing to them as well.

However, with extensive therapy, the
person with borderline personality disorder
can begin to understand the roots of their
behavior so that they can change their
reaction to their feelings, and make better
choices and decisions.

Then their behavior will be different.

For example, instead of pushing their
supporter away, they will be more apt
to talk to them about how they are feeling.

Another problem they live with is the fact
that they see everything in black and white -
no gray areas.

So one minute they might idolize you, and
the next minute they might totally degrade
you, or think of you one minute as all good
and the next minute as all bad.

The problem is, they may think of themselves
that way as well.

This leads to big problems with self-esteem
which can lead to problems in the
relationship as well.

Again, with therapy, these issues can be dealt
with and behaviors can be changed as well.

What are your thoughts on this?

Your Friend,

Dave

===>> Great Resources For You <===

Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3

Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Are you a Borderline Supporter? Is This You?

2010-11-15T12:52:07-05:00

=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=

Hi,

How are you doing today?

I hope you're doing fine.

Let me tell you about Jamie.

Jamie's wife has borderline personality
disorder.

As you know, it is very difficult to be a
supporter to a loved one with the disorder.

Jamie found himself getting very depressed
over the things he had to deal with having
to be his wife's supporter -

The mood swings, the rages, the fights,
the name calling, the clinging, the pushing
away, the accusations, all of it.

He tried to deal with it as best he could,
but the depression just wouldn't go away.

Like depression, I talk about the negative
feelings a supporter is likely to feel in my
main course and resource below:

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Jamie got so concerned about his depression
that he went to see a professional about it.

He was worried that it was something serious.

He thought it might be Major Depressive Disorder
or Unipolar Depression.

What he was told instead was that he had what
is called Situational Depression.

This stemmed from the fact that he was in a
situation that was causing his depression.

He was told that as long as he was in that
situation he would stay depressed, unless he
found a way to cope with the situation, which
could lessen the depression.

In order to do this, he had to find the source
of the depression.

This was no easy task, since he felt like it
was the whole situation with his wife's
borderline personality disorder that was
causing it at first.

So he had to dig a little deeper.

He thought about what it was like before
he became depressed - after all, she had
her borderline personality disorder then,
too, but he was not depressed about it,
so what had changed?

He realized it was the fact that his wife
had stopped communicating with him,
except when they fought, and that wasn't
any kind of communication that he could
understand - she would just rant and rave.

His frustration was coming from the fact
that he could no longer understand why
she was doing the things that she was
doing.

He felt like everything he did was wrong,
no matter what it was.

He could shower her with praise, and she
would find something negative to say
about it.

He could be as nice as he could to her, and
yet she would be negative in return.

He would tell her he loved her, and she
would become suspicious.

He would walk around on eggshells, always
afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing
(or not saying or doing the right thing).

The closer he tried to get to his wife, the
further she tried to pull away.

He felt as if he were going in circles.

No wonder he felt depressed!

He remembered what the therapist had
said - that in order to come out of his
depression, he had to change his situation.

He had identified that the main problem
was lack of communication.

So one day, when his wife was in a pretty
good mood, he sat her down and shared
his thoughts and feelings with her, being
sure to tell her how much he loved her
and wanted to make things work.

But he also shared how her behavior
was making him feel depressed, and that
he wanted to change that.

They had a long talk that day, with both
of them sharing their thoughts and feelings,
and he got an insight into what was making
her do the things she was doing.

With that insight, he was able to understand
his wife like he hadn't been able to before.

They became even closer, and he felt he
could be an even better supporter and
husband.

Jamie's depression lifted slowly, as things
began to work themselves out.

They had many more talks as time went
on, in addition to that first talk.

His wife began to trust him more, since
he had been so understanding that first
time, and began to open up to him more
about the way she was feeling.

There were less fights, and more talking
and sharing.

Communication had definitely been the
key to unlocking the problems that Jamie
and his wife had been having.

This situation is not unusual.

It is very difficult for a person with
borderline personality disorder to open up
and trust even their supporter with their
innermost thoughts and feelings.

Their fear of abandonment keeps them
from trusting other people, even those
closest to them.

What about you?

Have you experienced depression like
Jamie did?

What happened?

Your Friend,

Dave

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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
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help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml

Borderline Compassion Not Enough?

2010-11-08T22:46:33-05:00