Borderline: Don't Delay Your Own Happiness
Published: Fri, 08/08/08
Hey ,
How's it going?
Today's subject is about delaying your
own happiness just because your loved one
has borderline personality disorder.
DON'T!
You spend a lot of time as a supporter, and
one of the problems with that when you're dealing
with borderline personality disorder is that you can
get caught up in your loved one's struggle with their
identity problems.
DON'T!
They may have a problem with their identity, and
their own happiness, but you should not delay your
own happiness just because of being their supporter.
You should still do things that make you happy,
like:
· Hobbies
· Doing things you enjoy
· Doing things that make you feel good
· Taking care of your own needs
· Going out with friends
· Going to the movies
· Reading
· Watching videos that your loved one
may not want to watch with you
· Doing things by yourself
· Going shopping
· Spending time with your own family
· Spending time away from your loved one
· Taking a break from your loved one
· Taking a mini-v.acation from your loved one
· Having a job outside the home
Just being around your loved one 24/7 will not help
you and your own mental health at all - you may get so
caught up in their world of borderline personality disorder
that you might become as sick as they are!
DON'T!
You have a right to your own happiness. Don't delay
that happiness! You really need to keep a life separate
from your loved one, for your own sake. You have to
hold onto your own happiness!
Grab it right now!
Take some time for R and R (rest and relaxation). Even
combat soldiers do that! Don't stress yourself out by
giving all your energy to your loved one - save some for
yourself as well.
Giving all your time and energy to your loved one will
make you stressed out and sick. And you don't want
that, do you?
DON'T!
Also, don't try to be your loved one's therapist. They
should have their own therapist. They should be
telling their therapist their problems, and not dumping
them on you or taking out their problems on you, just
because you are there!
Because your loved one has borderline personality disorder,
they may, when they are in the "love you" phase of their
disorder, act like you are their "best friend" as far as a
shoulder to cry on. Remember, don't act like their
therapist.
DON'T!
Again, you should not be their enabler, either, or that
will steal your own happiness as well. You should not
be doing things for them that they can do for themselves.
This is one of the things I teach in my main course and
resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
So don't be your loved one's enabler, or you will be
robbing yourself of your own happiness.
DON'T!
You deserve a life of your own. You deserve to be
happy. You deserve an identity of your own outside
your relationship with your loved one with borderline
personality disorder.
Don't get so caught up in their disorder and their
problems that you lose yourself in it/them.
DON'T!
Don't delay your own happiness. Take charge of it
beginning right now!
Don't let borderline personality disorder steal your
happiness!
DON'T!
Well, I have to go.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml