Does This Help With Borderline Personality Disorder?
Published: Thu, 07/17/08
I hope you're doing well today.
Today I want to talk about 3 things:
YESTERDAY...TODAY... and
TOMORROW.
I want to start by asking you a question:
Does yesterday help with today when you're
dealing with borderline personality disorder?
Another question:
Does tomorrow help with today when you're
dealing with borderline personality disorder?
NO. To both questions.
Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow isn't here
yet. The only day you have is today, and the
only thing that's important is what you do with
it.
If your loved one is in therapy (and, hopefully,
they are), they should be learning this concept.
So it's important that you learn it too.
It's called "mindfulness" - being "in the moment."
In 12-Step Programs, they call it living "One Day
at a Time" - you may already be familiar with
this concept.
Living with someone who has borderline personality
disorder is a very hard thing to do. Being their
supporter, you have some very hard issues to deal
with.
One of those issues is that your loved one tends to
live in the past, which, as you know, is no good
for either of you. It's an issue they should be
dealing with in therapy, but one which they may
or may not be doing. And, even if they are, they
may be taking it out on you.
In my main course and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
I teach about how you should be dealing with
what's happening now and your thoughts and
feelings about it, and how to deal with negative
thoughts and feelings.
Now, that's a pretty hard thing to do if you're still
in yesterday, or worrying about tomorrow.
The way to do it is to let go of yesterday. I know,
easier said than done. You're probably still angry
about things your loved one said or did that made
you angry, frustrated, or hurt. But you have to let
that go. It doesn't help you to deal with today.
And you need to stop worrying about tomorrow -
it isn't here yet, and you don't know what's going
to happen. Worrying about it just makes your
"today" worse.
Ok, so we're back to today. Just concentrate on
what you have to deal with today. Your loved one
may be in a good or bad mood. They may be in
a love you or hate you mood. They may be angry.
They may be loving. They may be clingy. They
may be feeling as if the world is unfair. They may
be paranoid.
But however your loved one is feeling, you must
remain constant. Concentrate on your own
thoughts and feelings. YOU ARE OK. You
are NOT the one with borderline personality disorder!
Separate yourself from your loved one's disorder.
And separate your loved one from their disorder.
Try to keep the peace as much as you can.
Try to make today as good as you can.
Try to live in the moment.
Don't let yesterday or tomorrow ruin your
today.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml