Don't Baby Your Borderline Loved One
Published: Wed, 10/08/08
Hi ,
Hope your day is going well.
"Don't baby me!"
Have you heard that one yet?
Sometimes we as supporters may have a
tendency to do just that, whether we mean to or not.
You might get so afraid of your loved one going into
an episode of their acting out behavior that you tend
to tiptoe around them...
You might even make allowances for them that you
would never make for anyone else, just because they
do have borderline personality disorder.
The trick is that you have to learn to treat them with the
same respect as you would treat anyone else.
Just because they have borderline personality disorder
doesn't mean they aren't as intelligent as anyone else!
If you try to baby them, they WILL catch you!
So you have to catch yourself when you begin to patronize
your loved one or, as I said above, "baby" them.
In my main course and resource below, I do tell you to be
on the lookout for symptoms of borderline personality
disorder, but that doesn't mean you have to go overboard.
That can put such a strain on any relationship.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
If your loved one is taking their medication, going to
their doctor and psychiatrist appointments, seeing
their therapist, and otherwise following their treatment
plan, then they should begin to have longer periods
between episodes of acting out behavior.
It's one thing to watch for triggers of acting out behavior.
It's quite another to watch your loved one "like a
hawk" for any signs of anything out of the ordinary, to
the degree that they feel like you're patronizing them,
or babying them.
Your loved one will recognize this, and they will
react to it (usually making things worse for you).
Unless there are several signs, or the signs are over
a period of time, give your loved one a break.
Treat them like "normal."
One of my favorite sayings is, "Don't fix what isn't
broken."
In other words, don't look for something that isn't there.
Your loved one can go through periods of normal
behavior between their episodes of acting out behavior,
and that's ok. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong.
But don't patronize them...
Don't stand guard over them...
Don't baby them...
Don't make something out of nothing...
Don't look for things that aren't there...
Just...
Relax...
And be as supportive as you can.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml