Happy Thanksgiving and Staying Calm During the Borderline Storm
Published: Thu, 11/27/08
Hi ,
Hope you're having a good day.
Have you ever heard the expression
"the calm before the storm?"
Well, in your case, you know the "storm"
- when your loved one starts raging
at you.
But what if you could stay calm
DURING the storm?
But here's the hard part...
How do you stay calm, right?
When your loved one is raging...
Yelling and screaming at you...
Blaming you...
Fighting with you over nothing...
Calling you names...
Belittling you...
Criticizing you...
Humiliating you...
Degrading you...
Verbally abusing you...
Hurting your feelings...
How do you stay calm through
all that?
You probably think I'm crazy for even
suggesting it!
But you forget, I've been where you're at.
My mom used to scream and yell at me
so much, telling me she hated me and
that I was the worst son in the world.
I was really, really hurt by that.
And I wanted to scream and yell right
back at her.
So how did I stay calm?
That's the lesson I want to pass on to you.
I was able to stay calm because I learned how
to separate my mom from her disorder.
And that's one of the things I teach in my main
course and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
That's one of the things you have to do, too,
if you want to stay calm in the midst of
the storm.
Try to remember that this is NOT your
loved one doing all these things, that it is
the borderline personality disorder doing
it in them.
I didn't say it was easy, but if you can do
it, it will help you to stay calm.
If you can stay calm, it will make your loved
one run out of steam a whole lot faster
than if you yell and scream right back
at them, no matter how much you want to.
You can control your breathing. I know this
sounds like such a simple thing to do, but
it works.
Every time you want to yell or scream
at them, just stop and take a few deep
breaths. It will help you stay calm.
Also, you can picture what things will be
like after the "storm" has passed. That might
help you stay calm, too.
If you can stay calm while your loved one
is raging, you can later write all your angry,
hurt feelings down in a journal, and get
them out that way.
If you follow these suggestions, and stay
calm while the storm is raging, it will be
over much faster.
Just remember to stay calm.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml